


Driving Forces

by Northrupalyscia



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Child Loss, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Happy Ending, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 02:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 36,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19164268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northrupalyscia/pseuds/Northrupalyscia
Summary: Bella Cullen was about to have everything she had worked toward until she lost the two most important things in her life. Vice president of the legal department in her family's business, she tries to bury her pain in work. All of that changes the day she meets a man that has obviously suffered from serious trauma. Edward Swan is more than shy; he's scared of everything. Bella doesn't know what happened to the endearing man, but she vows to help him and his young daughter in any way she can, starting with hiring him as her personal assistant. Little does she know they'll soon become the driving force in her life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

 

I rub my temples as I kick yet another potential assistant out the door.

 

I am the vice president of the legal department of Cullen Enterprises. I make up the entire legal department, so it's not like I have a ton of subordinates, but that also means I do all the work. My dad is the CEO and founder. Along with me, my three brothers are VP's of the various departments of the company. With so much on my plate, I need an assistant to help me keep my shit straight.

 

"Swan," I holler for the next interview. At this moment I don't care how harsh I sound. I'm pissed at the insanity I've had to deal with this morning. What I need to be doing is working on the mountain of papers that need my attention, not coddling applicants that think they can chew gum or wear t-shirts to an interview.

 

I pull out the resume of Edward Anthony Swan. His employment history is substantial with lots of recommendations, but the downfall is that he hasn't been an assistant.

 

Edward walks in wearing a blue button-down shirt and black jeans. His hair is scattered everywhere and he has startling green eyes. I can detect a few small scars on his strong jawline. Attached to his hand is the cutest little girl.

 

He nervously puts his hand out. "Ms. Cullen, thank you for having me here today."

 

I take his hand with a firm shake. I am impressed with his approach; he is the first one to properly greet me. "Thank you for coming. Let's sit and get to it."

 

He sits down in one of my chairs and his little girl takes the other. She puts headphones on and looks at her tablet.

 

"I reviewed your resume, Mr. Swan. You have a remarkable work history and your references praise you left and right. But what surprises me is that you have no office experience. What makes you think you would be a good fit as my assistant?"

 

He clears his throat. His hands are noticeably shaking. "I'm good for this position because I am a hard worker, I am organized, and a quick learner." His voice reminds me of warm honey, but there's a hint of fear.

 

I nod my head and look at him. His eyes hold mine even though his bouncing knee tells me he wants to run from the room. I look down at his paperwork. Everything inside me tells me he is the guy. My gut instinct has gotten me far.

 

"Do you have questions for me?" I fold my hands on top of my desk.

 

He shifts in his seat, wiping his palms on his jeans. "I wanted to talk about what hours I would work, and I saw that you had an on-site daycare that's free to employees."

 

He could be an amazing employee if he had confidence. "Yes, a daycare is on site. It's all in your employment package when you're hired. The hours you will work are eight to four. There are days I don't leave here until eight at night. There will be occasions I will need you to stay with me."

 

I watch his shoulders fall. "On Thursdays, I have-" He fidgets in his seat, not meeting my eyes. "There is a group meeting I need to attend."

 

My brows pull together. "Are you an addict, recovering or otherwise?"

 

His eyes meet mine and widen. "No! I can take a drug test if you need me to."

 

I lean back in my chair, completely puzzled at what kind of meetings he would be going to. "I will make sure you are out in time on Thursdays. I will have you take a drug test down in HR, but that's not to say I don't believe you, it's just routine for new employees."

 

His face relaxes, and he smiles lightly, showing how gorgeous he is.

 

I clear my throat. "I want to offer you the position, and would like you to start immediately. Would tomorrow be too soon for you?" I look at him expectantly.

 

He nods. "I can, but I do need the services of the daycare. It's just my daughter and me," he whispers the last part.

 

I smile. "Well, let's go over and you can meet the daycare workers, and she can see the facility. Then we will stop over at the HR department and get you started on that paperwork, and get your badge and computer log-in. And set up a corporate account, also," I start rattling off everything and his eyes get wider and wider as I list his benefits package.

 

At this point, his little girl takes her headphones off her ears. "We done, Daddy, you get the job?"

 

He smiles, kneeling in front of her. "I think so, baby girl. We're going to go to the daycare, where you'll hang out while I'm working."

 

Her green eyes that match her father's land on me with a big smile and then go back to her dad. "Okay."

 

Mr. Swan stands up and his eyes fall to the ground as I walk around my desk. I see another scar on the back of his neck.

 

What the hell happened to this man?

 

I open the door, looking back and making sure they are following along as I lead them over to the daycare. His eyes stay on his little girl as he follows me over to the elevator and to the bottom floor where the daycare is located. The whole elevator ride down they whisper to each other quietly and giggle. He hasn't taken his phone out once, either, unlike the other candidates. We reach the main level and walk down the hall to the daycare.

 

As I reach for my keycard to let me in the door, I turn to Edward. "To get in or out you will need a keycard. You'll get one once we have..." I look down to his mini-me in little girl form.

 

"Emma." He smiles while saying her name and swings her arm back and forth, making her giggle.

 

The giggling pangs at my heart. I quickly push it down deep and enter the daycare. The first thing to hit us is the screaming and laughing as we walk into the center.

 

"Bella!" My sister-in-law, Rose, calls to me, holding my one-year-old niece on her hip.

 

I smile wide at my niece, taking her from Rose. "Hey, my little Lilly." I kiss her cheek.

 

Rose chuckles. "No wonder they never want to be home with you spoiling them like this."

 

I snort, changing the subject. "Rose, my new assistant, Edward, and his daughter, Emma. Emma needs to start coming here tomorrow."

 

At this point, I look toward Emma, who is clinging to Edward and burying her face into his leg. He's pale and unable to make eye contact.

 

Rose looks at me, mouthing  _what's wrong_?

 

I shake my head, unsure. "Mr. Swan, are you okay?"

 

He swallows so loudly I can hear it. "Ms. Cullen, um, may I-I speak to you in private?"

His voice sounds very scared. I give Rose a look, and she walks away.

 

Emma nudges her dad. He looks up with haunted eyes that flick to Rose and then back to me. "I'm very sorry, it's just that she reminds me of someone." The words seem stuck in his throat as his mouth flattens into a grim line.

 

"We can set it up so that you have minimal contact with her until you feel comfortable," I say with finality.

 

He gives me a hopeful look. "I don't want to cause any trouble." Biting his bottom lip, his green eyes look haunted with something from the past.

 

I shake my head, waving off his concerns about being any trouble. "It's no trouble to make sure you and your daughter are comfortable here at Cullen Enterprises."

 

He gives me a timid smile. "Thank you."

 

We continue to Angela, the daycare administrator, and get him the paperwork for Emma. Then we head to human resources, where I set him up with Heather to get his paperwork done so he can start work tomorrow.

 

When I get back to my office, Rose is waiting for me.

 

"What happened to him?"

 

I shake my head. "No fucking clue. But until he gets to know you better, I need you to bounce between the daycare and Emmett's office, avoiding drop-off and pick-up times."

 

"Okay, that isn't a problem." I have never been more grateful for my sister-in-law.

 

I make plans with her for her girls to stay with me later and get to work on the mountain of paperwork waiting for me. As I try to focus, I can't help but wonder what happened to the two of them. What would it take to make a full grown man cower as he did?

 

I leave the office at seven and head home. My house is two stories in the middle of nowhere. Perfect for a family. A family that I won't have.  

 

I wipe the tears away angrily as I enter the foyer and ignore the emptiness that fills me. Walking into the big kitchen to get something to eat, I picture my ex standing at the stove, whistling carefree tunes and making me dinner.

 

Jake loved to cook and make healthy food for me while I was... I stop that train of thought. I can't go there again.

 

I find myself foregoing eating and going to bed instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**EPOV**   
  


As the water washes over me, I recall the events of the day.

  
  


_“I want to offer you the position, and would like you to start immediately. Would tomorrow be too soon for you?”_

  
  


My heart pounds in my ears. _I got the job_.

  
  


The first thing I’d done this morning was pick out my best clothes. I helped Emma get ready to go to a neighbor’s apartment to stay while I went to the interview, but she didn’t answer her door.

  
  


By the time I got to Cullen Enterprises my nerves were shot.

  
  


_“I want to offer you the position, and would like you to start immediately. Would tomorrow be too soon for you?”_

  
  


I begin laughing, trying not cry. Against all odds, even the anxiety that made me sweat and shake, the doppelganger, and the fact that I had to bring my princess with me, I got the job. Not just any job either, a dream job, one that is going to allow me to keep my daughter no matter what.

  
  


Ignoring the bumps and dips from the many scars on my body, I finish up my shower.

  
  


_“You are so fucking stupid,”_  the voice sneers in my head as I dry myself off.

  
  


I walk out of the tiny bathroom to the rest of my small two-bedroom apartment. It’s all I can afford with the help of welfare and our case worker. I didn’t want to live here, I didn’t want to move out of our home, but in the end, it was best to take Emma away from the horrible memories. We don’t have much, just the necessities.

  
  


Running my fingers through my hair, I decide I better finish the paperwork for Emma’s daycare. The daycare is a parent’s dream. A key card to get in and out, cameras, all personnel has been trained and has to be recertified every six months. And they are willing to work with Emma’s counselor.

  
  


The paperwork is very standard, but the anxiety burns just under my skin as I pass over certain areas.

  
  


Feeling the panic just under the surface, I call the one person who knows everything. It rings a couple of times before his upbeat voice answers.

  
  


“Edward, what’s going on?”

  
  


I can feel myself shaking, it angers me so much. “It’s so stupid.”

  
  


Hearing the fear and anxiety in my voice must have hinted to the urgency of my break down. “Hey, breathe in through your nose and count to four.” His voice is soothing, and I do what he says. “Now out through your nose and count to four again.”

  
  


I let the air out of my nose.

  
  


“Now, Edward, what happened?”

  
  


I let out a humorless laugh. “I was filling out a section of this paperwork I have to do for the daycare at Cullen Enterprises.” Before I can finish he interrupts me.

  
  


“Wait, Cullen Enterprises, you got the job!”

  
  


I chuckle, “Yeah, Alistair, I got the job.”

  
  


“Sorry, I just got excited for you.” He clears his throat.

  
  


Leaning back in my chair and taking a deep breath, I reply, “It’s okay, I’m excited, too. It’s just my nerves, man.”

  
  


“Okay, start from the beginning.”

  
  


And I do. I tell him about waking up last minute, having to take Emma with me, how I had a panic attack because of a doppelganger, and now filling out paperwork.

  
  


“I feel weak.” My body slumps at my admission.

  
  


He sighs into the phone. “Edward, you are not weak, you have been through a lot of trauma in your life. You’re strong, a survivor.”

  
  


I take in his words, trying to believe them, just as every other time he tries to make me understand.

  
  


“Do you understand me, Edward?” His voice is caring but stern.

  
  


“I hear you, Al, but it doesn’t make it easier. I already have an issue being around women. And my boss, a woman, saw me nearly lose my shit.” I can’t seem to finish my sentence as the pathetic feeling overwhelms me.

  
  


“She must not care, she gave you the job and she’s going to make sure you have little to no contact with the doppelganger. Edward, you need to call Eleazar.”

  
  


I grunt, “I know.”

  
  


“Don’t make me do it for you and then show up at your new job to take you.” The threat in his voice is very real. And knowing him, he would.

  
  


“I’ll call him on my break tomorrow.”

  
  


“Don’t think I won’t call him and check.” His voice stern.

  
  


“Al, I will call. I promise.”

  
  


“Good, now you want to talk about anything else?”

  
  


Shaking my head, I tell him, “No, man. Thanks. I'll see you Thursday.”

  
  


We say goodbye and hang up the phone.

  
  


I sign my name on the line and put the papers away, thinking back to when I found out we were going to have Emma. I’d just graduated from high school and was about to age out of the system. She was gorgeous from a rich family and she wanted me. Neither of us had ever had sex before that night, and I thought I loved her, that she was going to give me the love I desperately wanted and needed. It was a month later that we found out she was pregnant. Her parents kicked her out in a rage. We had her car and that was it. I quickly found myself a job at an auto body shop and she got a part-time job at McDonald’s. We found a cheap studio apartment. I thought everything was going well for us.

  
  


I rub my face roughly, deciding I should go to bed and get some sleep, but it isn’t long before my princess is crying out for me. She’s in bed with me before I can even open my eyes fully. Running my hand through her hair, I soothe her to the best of my ability.

  
  


“Do you want to talk about it, princess?”

  
  


Sniffling, she shakes her head no. I kiss the top of her head, snuggling her closer.

  
  


“Remember, Miss Carmen says it helps if you talk about it.” I feel like a hypocrite, because I never speak of the nightmares that plague my every dream.

  
  


Emma does the breathing exercise Carmen has been teaching her to help with panic attacks. “There was a lot of blood. You were too far away, and I heard laughing and I kept falling, and-and—” She begins to cry harder.

  
  


“Shh, baby, it’s all over, Daddy’s here.” I attempt to calm her down, humming and repeating that it's all over. Not that it feels like it; like her, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  
  


It’s a long time before I hear her soft snores, allowing me to drift off.

  
  
  


*Driving Forces*

  
  
  


I wake up at six with Emma staring at me from her side of the bed. “Time to get up, Daddy?” She tightens her hold on her teddy bear.

  
  


Smiling and bopping her nose with my finger, I answer, “Sure is, princess, you ready to make some new friends today?”

  
  


She giggles, nodding her head.

  
  


We pull into a parking spot and head into the big glass building that is Cullen Enterprises. I take out my badge to get into the employee entrance and then again when we get to the daycare. A woman with honeyed skin and dyed red hair greats us.

  
  


“Hi, I’m Claire, and I’m here to help Emma adjust while you and Angela finish your paperwork.”

  
  


Emma looks at me with trepidation. I smile, crouching down at her level. “It’s okay, princess, I’ll come back to give you a kiss and say goodbye before I go to work.”

  
  


She nods, giving me a hug before taking Claire’s hand. Claire begins to tell Emma all about the daycare, like how she has her own cubby space and desk. I walk to the office; behind a desk with folders, papers, sticky notes, and a computer is a woman with glasses shuffling papers together.

  
  


“Hi, Mr. Swan.” She looks up at me with a smile.

  
  


“Hello, Angela,” I greet her, taking a seat after handing her the papers.

  
  


She smiles, taking them gently, and begins to look over them. I give her credit, she doesn’t even pause at the missing information. “Everything looks great.” Angela looks at me again, still smiling.

  
  


I smile back, feeling a small weight lift off my shoulders.

  
  


“We’ll see you a little after four."

  
  


I nod, shaking her hand again and leaving her office. Remembering the promise, I made my Emma bear, I go back into the daycare and give her a hug and kiss, telling her I’ll back around four to get her.

 

That part is done, now onto the next. I begin one of the three breathing techniques that Eleazar taught me. Inhaling through my nose, counting to four, then exhaling through my mouth while counting to four again.

  
  


The elevator doors open to the legal department, and I step out, hearing raised voices. The closer I get to Ms. Cullen’s office, the louder they become.

  
  


“Dammit, Emmett, you know I’m fucking swamped, especially with having to train a new assistant.” Her voice echoes, shaking me to my core as flashes of heat hit me.

  
  


I close my eyes.  _1, 2, 3, 4, breath out, 1, 2, 3, 4_. A feeling of calm begins to come back to me. I take a few more steps toward the doorway where a very large man with short black hair seems to be trying to back out and away from a red-faced Ms. Cullen.

  
  


“You know I’ll do anything for you.” His deep, throaty voice comes out sheepish.

  
  


“Get away from me now."

  
  


The man doesn’t seem to hesitate to go around me and almost run to the elevator.

  
  


Swallowing hard, I walk into her office with my eyes on the ground.

  
  


Hearing her throat clear, I look up to meet her eyes. “Hello, Mr. Swan, are you ready?”

  
  


Swallowing hard and calling to all my courage, I answer, “Yes, Ma’am. I am.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**EPOV**  
  
For an entire month I've been assistant to Ms. Cullen, and it's incredible; the best job I have ever held. The family environment is more than entertaining. I learned the headache from my first day is Emmett Cullen, brother number one. He oversees the entertainment department of Cullen Enterprises. Brother number two is Jasper Cullen. He is vice president of the advertising and arts department. Brother three is a step brother, but a brother all the same, Seth Cullen. His department is the financial section.  
  
And each of them fears Bella. I don't think she is the oldest, but she is the one that they listen to.  
  
I gather up the paperwork from a contract deal that needs one final look-over and knock on her door frame. If there is one thing that I know about Bella, she is dedicated. And children seem to melt the icy look she holds every day. I still shy away from almost every woman that works here. Even with Bella I tend to keep a good distance. I wonder sometimes if she notices when she tries to touch me how I flinch away. If she does, she doesn't seem to care.  
  
"Yes." She looks up from her computer. She looks young right now with her hair down and just a touch of natural makeup.  
  
"Here are the papers you wanted me to type up for Emmett." I walk in, handing her the file and keeping my eyes down.  
  
She shuffles the papers around as she reads over them. "These look really good."  
  
I can't help but look up as she praises me. She has a soft smile and I can't help but return one back.  

  
"This is extremely well-written and edited. Have you considered taking some classes to help you better understand the legal aspect?" She leans her elbows on her desk, her eyes boring into mine.  
  
My thoughts are a mile a minute, and I blink. "I don't think I would be smart enough, Ms. Cullen." I have my hands in my pockets trying not to let her see the anxiety that's rising inside me.  
  
Standing up slowly, she walks around her desk, keeping a respectful distance from me, and leans against it. "Edward, you don't ever ask me any questions about any of the legal terms or jargon that are written in these documents."  
  
I shrug my shoulders, trying not to blush. "I Google it, mostly, Ms. Cullen."  
  
Her brow raises. "Even with Google, it's difficult to understand fully. I think you would do wonderfully taking some classes and maybe doing some legal aid work. Think about it, okay?"  
  
I nod my head and leave her office. I sit, letting all the air out of my lungs. I can't believe she really thinks I could take college classes. Me in college classes... The loud booming voice of Emmett breaks me out of my cloud of thoughts.  
  
"Edward, my man." His dimpled smile matches his enthusiastic voice.  
  
"Hey, Emmett, what can I do for you?" I shuffle some things around on my desk to keep my hands busy.   
  
Placing his hands on my desk, he leans forward. "It's Friday and us fun people are going out to the local spot, please say you'll come."  
  
Anxiety builds so quickly that sweat pours out of me. "I don't know, Emmett..." I try to hurry up with some form of an excuse. "I don't have a sitter for Emma."  
  
Emmett stands up. "Bells, can you add the lovely Emma to the hoard of kids tonight so this overworked gentleman can come out with us fun folk." His voice is easily loud enough for her to hear.   
  
The heels clicking on the floor seem to echo in my mind as my heart pumps in my ears.  
  
"I would love to have Emma-bear with all the kids." I look up at hearing the light-hearted voice Ms. Cullen uses when she talks about children.  
  
I swallow hard, knowing I need to call Alistair to talk me into this. He has been telling me I need to go out with adults and socialize again. Turning to Ms. Cullen, I ask, "Are you sure, I don't want you to feel overwhelmed."  
  
Her smile is radiant. "I'm positive. Go have fun, you deserve it. Emma will be in very safe hands."  
  
Biting my lip, I see no real way out if it. "Alright, I guess I'll be there."  
  
Emmett fists pumps. "Fred's down the block at five."  
  
I nod my head as he leaves.  _Fuck, fuck!_  
  
Bella hands over a stack of folders. "Could you please get my father to sign these, and these are for Seth, before you head out to lunch."  
  
I blink, startled by the change back to her professional voice. "Of course, Ms. Cullen." I take the papers from her, moving away from my desk.  
  
"If at all possible, make sure they actually read them." She rolls her eyes and I can't help but laugh. She joins in.

 

"I know, I know."  
  
Walking away, chuckling still, I think about the fact that every time she has sent me to get signatures she wants them to read the documents, but no matter what I say, or she says, they never do.  
  
I take the elevator to the top floor where Charlie Cullen's executive office is. I hear childish giggles and Mr. Cullen's baritone laugh as I walk up to his office. Charlie Cullen is a family man to the core, which is probably why all of his children work for him. He is also one of the most honest people I have met outside Ms. Cullen. Mr. Cullen has peppered gray hair, heavy on the gray around his temples, wearing a slick suit but tennis shoes on his feet. Wrinkling around his mouth and eyes are the proof of how much he smiles.  
  
His assistant isn't at her desk, signaling that I can walk up to his door. Knocking on his wooden door frame, I see that he has visitors.  
  
"Edward! I take it my daughter has papers that need to be signed." His chuckling smile gets me smiling as well.  
  
I walk over, ignoring the heavily built man with the dark fade haircut. "I would like to remind you to please read this before signing it."  
  
His laugh echoes through the office, causing the little girl in his lap to clap happily. "Love, please take Sara."  
  
His wife has copper skin, much like her son Seth, with long dark hair that is currently braided down her back. She comes over to grab the cute little girl off his lap.  
  
"Come, little one, your mommy is waiting for you." Mrs. Cullen takes the little girl who has a strong resemblance to the hulking male figure that's standing by the door now.  
  
Mr. Cullen takes the papers and begins to look them over when the gentleman speaks. "Wow, Charlie actually reading the papers, that has to be a first." The teasing tone of the man's voice doesn't look like it sits well with Mr. Cullen.  
  
His top lip curls up in a snarl and Mr. Cullen's eyes darken as they flicker to the guy.  
  
"I don't know why you think you can talk to me. The only reason you're walking and talking is because of that little girl right there." The venom in his voice makes me cringe and thank God that I'm not on the other end of it.  
  
The man has darker skin but his face drains of that color and he walks out the door, not looking back as Mrs. Cullen gives her husband a knowing look. She follows the man out with the toddler.  
  
I keep my eyes to the floor as Mr. Cullen shuffles the papers, and by the sounds of the mumbling and the thumps on his desk, I'm going to assume the man pissed of my boss's boss.  
  
I hear a huff, triggering me to look at Mr. Cullen.  
  
"I'm sorry, Edward, the boy tends to put me out of sorts." He leans back in his chair, handing the papers back to me.  
  
I shrug, "It's okay, sir."  
  
He chuckles. "You heading to lunch now?"  
  
I shake my head. "No, I need Seth to sign a few things, but then I am."  
  
Nodding his head, he says, "Have a good day."  
  
Smiling, I reply, "You too, sir."

 

  
***Driving Forces***

  
Before leaving the office, Ms. Cullen,  _she keeps reminding me to call her Bella_ , gave me her address to drop Emma off to her. Driving up her driveway is a wake up call on how wealthy Ms. Cullen is. The driveway is hidden amongst trees and after a few minutes we come up to a large brick house,  _mansion_  is the only word that comes to mind, with a huge yard. I can picture Emma running and playing, maybe chasing a dog.  
  
I park the car and I just stare, my heart pumping loudly in my ears.  
  
"Its okay, Daddy. I like Miss Bella, and lots of the kids from daycare will be here," my daughter's sweet voice reassures me.  
  
Chuckling because I needed to hear that, I get out of the car and help Emma out. The woman who opens the door is not the one I see in the office every day. Bella is in yoga pants and a tank top, her hair pulled into a ponytail and a sparkly crown on top of her head. Her eyes are bright with life and her smile could light up a room.  
  
"Miss Emma, we were waiting for you to start our pizza party." She bends down to talk to my princess.  
  
Emma is smiling widely. "Really?"  
  
Bella nods her head. "Head on in."  
  
My girl doesn't hesitate and runs in, forgetting to say goodbye to me. "I guess I'm chopped liver," I chuckle, rubbing my neck.  
  
Her eyes sweep over me. "It tends to happen," she replies, chuckling.  
  
I continue to stand awkwardly, not ready to leave. Bella leans against the doorway crossing her arms. "Are you okay?"  
  
Shaking my head, I answer, "Just nervous."  
  
She nods her head. "You have my number and it's okay to make it short. Go out for an hour and come back and get her."  
  
I swallow hard, remembering Al's encouraging words and now hers. "Thank you. I'll see you in awhile."  
  
She gives me a little wave as she shuts the door.  
  
The entire drive to Fred's I'm doing my breathing exercises and telling myself that I can do this. And I hate myself because I have to do these things just to socialize.  
  
The noise and smell of the place really puts me in a bad mindset, but I continue further in until I see Emmett and the others from work. And there are a lot of people, women, here. My chest begins to tighten as I move closer.  _I can do this. Nothing bad will happen_.  
  
Emmett sees me first and hollers my name, which causes a bunch of people to stare at me. I feel the heat rise to my face.  
  
"Hey, Emmett."  
  
There's Jasper and his wife, Alice; Seth is here with Claire; and then there is the doppelganger, Emmett's wife, Rose. There are also some different people from their departments and two of them are ones who I don't know.  
  
Taking a seat near Jasper, I give a small wave. Jasper smiles back.  
  
"I'm glad you came, man."  
  
I smile shyly, shaking my head and trying to keep the fear from my voice. "Yeah."  
  
The night progresses with the alcohol flowing and I continue to sip on my coke. Most of the group is dancing and chatting a lot. Currently, I find myself sitting with Claire, Alice, and Rose. I'm learning she's nothing like what I thought her to be. She is kind, loving, and easy to talk to about parenting, which is the topic of discussion amongst us right now. I'm smiling and very much enjoying the company, surprisingly enough. It's shocking how much in common I have with them.  
  
A woman sits on my lap in the middle of the conversation and all I can smell is alcohol.  
  
"You are so fucking hot." Her hands are in my hair as my body begins to shake, blood pumping in my ears. Oblivious, she leans closer and slurs, "Take me home."  
  
All I smell is the alcohol on her breath as she grinds herself into me. The rising panic makes me jump up, causing her to fall the floor, cussing me out.  
  
I try not to fall into the blackness of pain and yelling. My body is shaking as voices all around me start saying my name.  
  
"Emma, please, I need to see her."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**BPOV**

 

I laugh at Felicity and Thea who are playing with pretend makeup and dress-up clothes pretending to be princesses. Ollie is playing on his tablet; he's the oldest and stuck with almost all girls. Lilly and Lance are napping, and I put sweet little Laurel in her walker. She's been staying near me, fascinated by me braiding shy Emma's hair. Nothing is better than having all these kids here making this empty house full of laughter and love. Emma has been in awe of all the things I have here for kids.

 

"You should be a mom," Emma states as I finish up her braid.

 

My fingers freeze and my heart stops before it speeds up. Closing my eyes, I shakily finish putting the hair band on the end of the braid when I hear Jasper's frantic voice.

 

"Bella, you need to come into the kitchen, now!" Turning to his panicked voice, I see wide eyes and pure fright on his face.

 

"Emma, can you help Ollie keep all the kids in here? I'll be right back." I kiss the top of her head and follow Jasper to the kitchen.

 

I can't believe what I'm seeing. Edward is sitting there, rocking back and forth. His hand is in his hair, pulling at it.

 

"Please. Please," he cries out.

 

I turn to Jasper. "What the hell happened?"

 

Gaping like a fish, he answers, "I have no idea. A drunk chick sat on his lap and then he starting to have a panic attack. Said he needed to see Emma."

 

Edward stands up, looking around frantically. "Please, I need to see her."

 

I walk over and say gently, "Edward, do you really want Emma to see you like this?"

 

He shakes his head, but he still hasn't gotten his breathing under control. Seeing his phone on the ground where he was sitting, I take it and look through his recent contacts.

His last text is from an Al, and I call the number.

 

"Edward, how was your evening out?" a chipper voice greets me.

 

My voice is rushed. "This is Bella. Edward is having a panic attack, what should we do?"

 

Without missing a beat, he replies, "He needs reassurance that he and Emma are safe. Have him breathe in and hold for four seconds, through the nose and out through the mouth. Where is Emma?"

 

Putting the phone on speaker, I go to Edward. "Hey, breath in through your nose and count to four and let it out, okay?"

 

Edward nods, doing as I instructed. "You're safe now. Everything is going to be okay." I feel silly using these cheesy lines, but they seem to be working.

 

"Emma is in the other room," I finally answer the man on the phone.

 

"Once his breathing slows down, let him see Emma."

 

I'm trying to keep my hands to myself, even if they are itching to touch this poor man. His body isn't shaking as much as it was when I first saw him, but his breathing is still hard.

 

A throat clearing on the other end of the phone reminds me that I'm still on it. "Either you or him please call me back as soon as he calms enough."

 

"Of course." I click the end button and look at Jasper. In the chaos, it seems that all my brothers and sisters-in-law showed up.

 

I walk toward them. "Take the kids, try not to alert Emma too much. I want to give him a few more minutes before I bring her in here."

 

Emmett pats my back and then leads the trail to the kids. I go back to Edward who has in those few moments gotten himself a little more under control. Sitting down next to him, I make sure I give him enough space to feel comfortable but close enough to show support.

 

"You're safe here, okay? Emma's fine. She got her hair braided. We did nails and had lots of pizza. We were actually about to pick out a movie."

 

He turns with a small smile playing on his lips, but his eyes are still a bit red from the panic attack.

 

I study him for a moment more. "I think Emma is watching something on Netflix. Do you want to join her?"

 

"Please." It comes out as a whisper.

 

Standing up and then waiting for him to do the same, I lead him to the playroom. Emma is watching  _Sing!_  and holding a baby doll. She is singing along with the movie, looking very content in her own little world. I watch as Edward strolls to her, flopping next to her on the couch and pulling Emma into his arms, hugging her tight.

 

Emma pats her daddy's back. "It's okay, Daddy. I had lots of fun and everyone was really nice. Miss Bella was amazing."

 

Edward holds her close to his chest, listening to her intently. I sit next to them on the couch and watch them. The close bond they have over something that had happened to them is obvious. I hate to think about what tragedy could cause this beautiful, loving father to be shaken like he is. With that line of thinking, I quickly inform Edward, "That Al guy said to have you call him when you're more settled."

 

After kissing Emma's forehead, he gets up and pulls out his cell. "I'm going to step out and call him. Is that okay?" He bites his bottom lip, not making eye contact with me, almost as if he's asking my permission.

 

Nodding my head, I say, "Yeah, Emma and I will just be here watching TV."

 

Emma curls up into my side as I wrap my arms around her and we comfortably watch TV. It isn't long before I hear her soft snores. I can't help but smile and kiss the top of her head.

 

Edward walks back in the room. He seems lighter after his talk to whoever that guy is. "I want to thank you for everything tonight." Shoving his hands in his pockets, he still doesn't really look at me.

 

"It was nothing. Emma was a gem."

 

He takes a seat, staring at his daughter. "She is my world. My everything."

 

The love radiating off him is almost too much. The bond between parent and child. Something I...

 

Clearing my throat, I say, "Are you okay to drive? I have plenty of room if you and Emma just want to stay tonight."

 

His eyes widen and his mouth pops open for a moment before he begins to stutter. "I-I don't know. I don't want things to, um, get weird."

 

I don't know why, but I start to chuckle. "Nothing is going to change between us."

 

The tips of his ears turn red. "Okay, I'll stay in a guest room with Emma."

 

I nod and carefully stand up, trying to not wake Emma. Watching Edward pick her up is something that pulls on my heart strings.

 

He follows me to the guest room. "There's a private bathroom in here with towels and stuff."

 

He walks in and sets Emma on the bed. Edward turns back to me, not meeting my eyes but shoving his hands in his pockets.

 

Tonight, I really look at him undistracted. He is wearing a plain black tee, his arms covered in round scars and what look like slashes. The shirt is tight, showing off his decent build that is usually hidden under his work attire.

 

"Thank you for letting us stay here. I really don't think it's a good idea for me to drive home."

 

I find myself shaking my head, clearing the dirty thoughts that are worming their way in. "Of course. I'll see you in the a.m." Shutting the door behind me, I close my eyes. I need to get some sleep.

 

*** _Driving Forces_ ***

 

Zombie-walking to the kitchen to start some coffee the next morning, I jump out of my skin when I see Emma looking through the cupboards. My hand is on my chest when our wide eyes meet. The difference is, hers are welling with tears.

 

"I was hungry, and-and I didn't want to bother my daddy. He doesn't sleep much and- and-"

 

Walking up to her and crouching down at her level, I take her hands into mine and smile. "It's okay. How about some eggs and sausage?"

 

She sniffles just a bit. "Please."

 

I smile, picking her up and setting her on the tabletop and beginning to make breakfast for all of us. She watches me intently, so I start telling her exactly what I'm doing every step of the way.

 

"I wish I had you as a mommy."

 

I freeze just for a moment before taking a breath. "Thank you, sweetie." Turning to her, I smile and hand her a plate full of food.

 

Smiling happily, she digs in to her food. I join her. Emma begins to chat about daycare and how much she had fun last night.

 

"I'm very happy you enjoyed yourself."

 

Nodding, she says, "Yeah, it's been really nice to be around a lady that is like a mommy should be."

 

"What do you mean, sweetie?" I ask, unable to stop my curiosity.

 

She nibbles her bottom lip. "A mommy isn't ‘posed to hit a daddy or their kid. They aren't ‘posed to say bad names, either."

 

Before I can say anything, a panicked voice shouts, " _Emma_!"

 

Emma's and my eyes widen at the fear in Edward's voice. "Edward, we're in the kitchen!" I call out.

 

Edward appears in the archway looking very disheveled, eyes searching for Emma. "You scared me so much, princess."

 

Emma smiles, rolling her eyes. "Daddy, we're with Miss Bella. She wouldn't let nothing happen."

 

The tips of his ears turn red as he kisses the top of her head. I hand him a plate of food, ignoring his embarrassment.

 

"Thank you." He sits down next to his daughter.

 

Not long after breakfast, Edward and Emma leave with him thanking me profusely. I find myself hanging around my sun room when Rose shows up, handing me a glass of something.

 

"I thought you could use this." She tucks her feet underneath her as she sits.

 

Chuckling, I take a sip, enjoying the fruitiness of the wine. We sit in silence. It's nice having her here. The date is just around the corner and I know I need the company.

 

"I'm convinced Edward has some kind of PTSD." She turns to me.

 

I nod. "I agree, but I'm not trying to pry into his life."

 

She chuckles. "I can't believe you haven't made a move on him."

 

I shake my head. "I don't need a man. I gave up that idea the moment I signed the papers."

 

She sighs, but lets it go. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rigger warnings for uncomfortable topics that will be coming up

**Chapter 5**

**EPOV**

 

 _My hands are sticky. The smell of something metallic hangs in the air, and a high pitch scream is echoing around me. I can't find the lights. Where are the lights? Why is Emma screaming?_ What _is that pain?_

 

_You are such a fucking loser. You can't do anything right!_

 

I wake up with the sheet clinging to me from the sweat pouring off me. I weep from the nightmare. The nightmares never end. I get out of bed and into the shower, trying to get myself together before work. By the time I'm done Emma is up and getting herself dressed, clinging to her new stuffed wolf.

 

Almost every day since I had the panic attack and stayed at Bella's we have been having lunch together, and last weekend we saw Incredibles 2. After that we went to the local carnival, where Emma got her stuffy. I don't know what this means. I know we have a great time together, she doesn't ask questions, and she shows so much affection to Emma that it makes my heart swell. At work, Bella is someone so different than outside the office and when she's around children. She glows when interacting with Emma or any of her nieces and nephews.

 

In the kitchen, Emma smiles at me. "I'm all set, Daddy."

 

"Alright, princess, let's get going, then." I take her hand, grab my bag, and we walk out the door.

 

She talks the whole throughout the entire car ride. "I can't wait to see Ollie, he's going to show me his guitar, and Miss Rose said that we're going to make tie-dyed shirts today."

 

I love listening to her. She has grown so much since she started at the daycare and working with Carmen. I have hopes that what happened to us won't scar her for life like it has me. When we get to the office Emma runs into the daycare, greeting her friends, and I head up to the office.

 

What greets me is silence, and my boss's door firmly shut, which has never happened since I started almost two months ago. I take this as a sign I should use caution, so I quietly set my things down on my desk.

 

"Edward," I hear my name being whispered from behind me. I turn to see where it's coming from, and find Alice and Rose standing there with very strained expressions. They wave me over to the break room on this floor. I walk over to them, and they shut the door, looking around before looking at me.

 

"What's going on?" I ask, confused by their behavior.

 

They exchange a  _look_ , then Rose begins to speak. "Look, Bella went through hell about two years ago, and today is an anniversary of sorts. Just be patient with her."

 

I nod, still not really understanding. "Okay."

 

They leave me to start my day. I get all the case files together and go over the notes Bella has left for me already this morning, which is another unusual thing.

 

I should check on her, it's the friendly thing to do. Trying to not let my anxiety talk me out of it, I knock. "Bella." I hear sniffling on the other side of the door. Not being able to help myself, I quickly open it.

 

Bella is sitting on her sofa, holding pictures. Her face is blotchy like she's been crying. The door squeaks just slightly, making her look up at me. She quickly wipes her face. "Edward, what can I do for you?" She tucks the pictures away so I can't see them.

 

Stepping in and shutting the door behind me, I clear my throat before speaking. "I just wanted to check on you and make sure you're okay."

 

More tears spring from her eyes. "I'm... I'm not okay."

 

It's an out-of-body experience. I walk over to her, pulling her to my chest and hugging her and saying comforting words.  _I'm hugging her, I'm comforting her_.  _I'm not freaking out, and I'm not shaking. I'm not hearing voices._

 

"Why don't we take the rest of the day off? We can take Emma to the zoo, have some lunch, and then you can come to my place and watch a movie."

 

She pulls away, wiping her tears. "I would actually really like that, but we have meetings."

 

I shrug. "I'll reschedule. You relax here, and I'll take care of everything."

 

Bella nods, so I pull away and leave her office. I begin the process of rescheduling everything so we can have a fun day to cheer my friend up. The thought makes me pause. I have a  _friend_ , a  _girl_ that is my  _friend_. I can't help but smile. Maybe I  _am_  making progress.

 

It's my last call to Charlie that makes me realize how much Bella needs this.

 

"Thank God, I was trying to figure out how to kick her out today. What are you guys going to be doing?"

 

I have to take a deep breath and try to remain calm. "Thinking about taking Emma to the zoo, have lunch, and watch a movie." Why am I so nervous explaining what we're going to be doing? Oh right, my boss's boss is also her dad.

 

"Good, good, just what she needs. Have a good time, and see you later, Edward." He hangs up the phone before I can say anything else.

 

I blink a couple of times before I hang up, too. Running my fingers through my hair, I open her office door again. Bella is closing her bag and looks up at me.

 

I smile brightly. "Everything is rescheduled. Let's get Emma, and go see some animals."  

_* **Driving Forces** *_

 

I'm currently staring at the pictures on my phone that we took throughout our day off. Emma and Bella were attached at the hip, laughing and smiling. Whatever demon that had Bella in knots this morning disappeared when Emma wrapped her arms around her. This one picture is of all three of us. I have my arm around Bella's shoulders, and we're each holding one of Emma's hands. We're all smiling. I can _feel_ the happiness in the picture. Emma and I are happy in this photo. I don't think I've ever felt so normal; being with Bella and Emma today, I didn't flinch once, and I never panicked.

 

Needing to see Emma and Bella again, I walk to my daughter's room where Bella is reading her a bedtime story at Emma's insistence. I don't hear anything coming from her room as I gently push the door open. Bella is curled around Emma, kissing her head and playing with her hair. Emma is sound asleep.

 

"She must have been pretty tired," I say as I lean against the doorframe.

 

She doesn't look up at me as she nods her head. "She is such a precious gift; all children are precious gifts." Her voice cracks at the end as she kisses Emma's forehead before getting off the bed and walking past me.

 

I follow her to the living room where we sit next to each other on the couch, our thighs touching.  _Should I hold her hand? Do friends do that?_

 

"I graduated early. I was sixteen with a plan. I would be a lawyer at my dad's company. I would get married and have four kids. Instead, I'm divorced with no children." Tears are falling slowly down her cheeks. My hands itch to wipe them away. Running her fingers though her hair, she turns to me. "Tell me about you. What's your family like?"

 

I have to roughly wipe my palms against my jeans because of the sweat building up on them. "I really don't remember them. I was taken from them when I was three, and I lived in the system until I aged out."

 

She takes my hand, squeezing it gently. No more words are really needed. We both shared a little about ourselves, and it was enough. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER**
> 
>  
> 
> There is some mention of pregnancy loss.

**Chapter 6**

**BPOV**

 

_"Jake, the bassinet needs to be over here." I pointed to the opposite side of the room from where he'd set it up._

 

_He rolled his eyes, but began to move it. I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen, making me cry out._

 

I run my fingers through my hair. Even with all the time I've spent with Edward and Emma, it can only temporarily make me think of something other than this.

 

Today is Cullen family dinner day; I usually skip it, but my brothers have been nagging at me to come. Tired of listening to them, I climb into my car and drive over to my parents' house.

 

Pulling into the driveway brings up so many memories.

 

The big oak tree where Jake and I had our first kiss. Where we planned our future together. He wanted to be a mechanic; he was going to go to trade school while I was in law school. We got engaged when I turned eighteen, and we were married by twenty.

 

I put the car in park, trying to get myself to move out of the car and to the door. Seeing my aunt and mom at the door, smiling, finally gets me motivated to get out of the car and walk toward them.

 

Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle are the best aunty and uncle kids could ask for. They couldn't have children of their own, so they spoiled us instead.

 

Sue has been, and will always be, my mom. She stepped in and helped me be the woman I am today after Renée left us when I was five.

 

Both women hug me tightly, something I sorely need. I begin to cry softly as they hold me.

 

"Shh, my child, you're home and we have your favorite chocolate pie ready for you." Esme pulls away, brushing hair out of my face, and Mom rubs my back. They lead me into the house where all the children are giggling and running around playing tag with Uncle Carlisle and Dad.

 

I can't help but smile when I see  _her_. With the bright brown eyes and sun-kissed looking skin, curls bouncing as she runs with her cousins.

 

Sara was born two months after the incident.

 

_I was wearing the same clothes for the fifth day in a row, ignoring everything around me as my stomach laid flat and my nursery empty. The doorbell rang over and over. After the eighth time I got up out of bed and opened it. On the other side was my step-sister, Leah. She'd been my maid of honor. Her stomach was protruding, and her eyes were red._

 

_"Bella, I have to talk to you."_

 

The dining room table is set. I choose a seat between Alice and Emmett; across from us are Jake and Leah. Jake's arm is slung casually over her shoulders, kissing her temple and avoiding my eyes.

 

Dad and Carlisle finally come in with the kids, setting them up at their own table. My heart is partially full sitting here with my family. The only dark, empty spot is sitting across from me.

 

I listen to all the family updates. Carlisle has expanded his practice, and Esme has taken an interior design job for a high-profile business mogul. Mom is thinking about volunteering at the local animal shelter.

 

I smile at all the happy news until Leah stands up. "Jake and I have some happy news ourselves." My stomach is in knots as I watch her hands move to her stomach, and Jake puts his hands there, too. "We're ten weeks pregnant!" she squeals happily.

 

Everyone gives them congratulations. It isn't as happy as a normal congrats would go, considering that all their eyes are on me and my reaction. Tears are already falling as I get up and all but run out of my childhood home, broken. I don't know where to go; certainly not to my empty house. It doesn't even occur to me where I am until I park at the familiar apartment building.

 

Wiping the tears away, I get into the elevator and ride up to his floor. When he opens his door, Edward is smiling and laughing at something happening behind him. When his eyes meet mine they widen just a little.

 

"Bella, are you okay?" His voice is full of concern, and I can't blame him. I must look like a mess.

 

I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just needed to be somewhere that wasn't home."

 

He opens the door wider. "Come in, we're just having pizza and playing card games."

 

I walk in, seeing little Emma and a man sitting at the round table. His blond hair sticks up everywhere, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

"You must be the famous Bella I've heard so much about." The voice is one I've heard before on the phone. "I'm Alistair, but you can call me Al."

 

Smiling politely, I reply, "Nice to meet you, Alistair."

 

Edward's ears are red, his hands deep in his pockets as usual. It's his nervous tell.

 

"I don't want to impose on you guys. I should go."

 

"No!" all three of them shout at me. I find myself laughing.

 

"Okay, okay. Well, then get me a slice of pizza and deal me in."

 

*Driving Forces*

 

Tonight was everything I needed. I smiled; I laughed. I haven't been this happy in a long time, and it takes my mind off the news I heard today. Emma is now sound asleep, leaving Edward, Al, and me relaxing at the table playing rummy. What strikes me is how comfortable Edward is with Alistair. His body is relaxed, and he seems more confident. He has never been so calm with me, even with all the time we've been spending together. He's been getting better, but I've never seen him like this.

 

"How did you guys meet?" I ask while looking at my cards. When no one answers right away, I look up.

 

Al looks at Edward, who nibbles his bottom lip, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

 

"We met a year ago through some services," Alistair answers vaguely.

 

I don't pry any further, seeing that it's something Edward isn't ready to talk about.

 

It isn't long after, that Al leaves. Edward and I sit on the couch to watch Netflix.

 

Edward clears his throat. "You... um... want to talk about..." he drifts off as his confidence dies in his shaky voice.

 

My head falls back on the couch, and I let out a gust of air. "I found out my step-sister is pregnant again."

 

He doesn't say anything, letting me find the words.

 

"It's with my ex-husband. They were having an affair for over a year when she got pregnant with their first child, little Sara." I can feel the tears sliding down my cheeks as the memories flood my brain. "Sara was born two months after I lost my..." the words die in my throat. He picks up my hand, squeezing it gently.

 

Turning to his face, our eyes meet, and his show the pain I am currently feeling.

 

"I'm sorry, Bella, so sorry." His voice cracks as he tries to give me sympathy.

 

Nodding, I squeeze his hand "Thank you. Thank you for the zoo, and thank you for tonight."

 

He shrugs. "It's what friends are supposed to do."

 

"I don't think I've had a friend outside of my family in a long time," I murmur.

 

He clears his throat. "I've never had a friend that was female."

 

We don't say anything else, just enjoy each other's company and watch TV until I fall asleep on his couch. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGERING WARNING!!!!!!
> 
> There is talk about ABUSE and CHILD DEATH.

**Chapter 7**

**EPOV**

 

Reading over the latest project Bella has me overseeing, I realize I'm almost finished altering the contract with clients in Jasper's department looking for a two-year agreement with the company. The clients are trying to create loopholes in the contract to benefit themselves; they don't want to have to pay very much out of pocket considering the amount of work they're expecting from Cullen Enterprises. Basically, they're douche canoes, as Bella puts it.

 

In just two weeks it will be four months since I started working here. I have a good savings account, and I'm looking for a better apartment for Emma and me. Everything is going much better than I ever would have imagined.

 

"Edward." Rose calls my name as she walks toward me with pamphlets in her hand.

 

I'm still timid around her, but nothing like when I first started. Now that I've gotten to know her I realize she is a great, loving person who you don't want to piss off. She and I have had a few lunch dates and gotten the kids together. We're developing a decent friendship.

 

I clear my throat. "Rose, what's up?"

 

Taking a seat across from me and smiling, she says, "I know miss Emma bear is starting kindergarten this year. It got me thinking, with her getting along with Ollie so well, not to mention all the other kids in daycare, that maybe you would be interested in sending her to school with them." She hands over the pamphlets she's been holding.

 

 _The Bush School_  is printed at the top along with their mission statement: " _To spark in students of diverse backgrounds and talents a passion for learning, accomplishment, and contribution to their communities._ "

 

From the statement alone, I can tell I wouldn't be able to pay the tuition. "I don't think I could afford to send Emma to the top-rated school in the state." I can feel my cheeks flame.

 

She chuckles. "You should read the fine print. Cullen Enterprises pays for the tuition of employees' children."

 

My brows knit together. "Really?"

 

"Yes, really. Now, I took the liberty of scheduling an appointment for you and Emma to be interviewed for a spot." She hands me a scrap of paper with a time and date written on it.

 

I thank her, trying to hide my embarrassment. Being amazing, as almost all the Cullen women are, she doesn't say anything.

 

When she leaves I take a gander at the brochure which leads me to look at their website. It  _is_  an amazing school; it's expensive, but I think it will be worth it to keep Emma with her friends, plus it's a perfect school in general. Taking the paper Rose gave me, I tuck it into my calendar to make sure I remember to make the appointment.

 

I gather up all the paperwork for the contract I've finished and walk to Bella's door, knocking before entering. I hold up the folder when she looks up at me. "I have all the info on the contract from Jasper's department."

 

She takes her hair down out of its ponytail and rubs her temples. "Is it good news?"

 

Setting the folder in front of her, I reply, "I think it is."

 

She opens the folder and begins scanning through the paperwork that I did. She nods her head, grabs a pen, and begins making notes. I don't take offense. I know this is Work Bella, and she's teaching me how to perfect my skills. She's continued pushing for me to take classes.

 

Finally setting the last paper down, she leans back in her chair, her index finger tapping the file. "This... this is amazing, Edward. Some of this I wouldn't have even thought of." A smile spreads across her face, making her look gorgeous.  _Gorgeous? What_?

 

I feel hot all over from the compliment and from the stray thought I just had. "Thanks, Bella."

 

"I will let you take this over to Jasper." She closes the file and hands it to me.

 

"Oh, before I forget, I have an appointment to go over to The Bush School on Friday."

 

"That's a great school. Make sure you go down to HR and get that paperwork started."

 

I nibble my bottom lip. "Would you, um... want to, uh..." Internally, I'm yelling at myself to just spit out the damn question.

 

Bella smiles at me, waiting for me to finish.

 

"Come with me to the appointment?" I hold my breath, scared of her answer.

 

"I would love to, Edward."

 

I mentally fist pump. "Alright, I'm going to take this to Jasper, and then I will arrange our schedule so we're both free on Friday."

 

"Sounds good!" Her brightly lit smile is contagious.

 

Finding myself smiling, I walk out to my desk to start rearranging the schedule. After I finish that I go down to Jasper's floor, finding him red-faced and slamming the phone down. Feeling wary, I walk up and tap on his door frame.

 

He looks up. "Please tell me that is the contract that is going to make," he aggressively points to his phone, " _this_  better."

 

"That's what Bella tells me." I hand him the file.

 

He falls into his chair with it. "Thank God. I thought I was going to lose this account and then have to murder someone."

 

He makes me chuckle. "I'm glad to help save someone's life."

 

He thanks me again before I leave feeling really good about myself.

 

***Driving Forces***

 

"I was with my ex-wife for five years until I finally asked for a divorce. She was heavy into drugs and would leave our daughter alone to get high. When I would confront her, she would hit me. One time she stabbed me with a knife. I was awarded sole custody of Brandi, but it wasn't an easy road. I had to get a restraining order on Michelle. I had to call the cops on her so many times for trying to break into my home, or showing up at Brandi's school." He takes a deep breath. "One of her close friends became my daughter's teacher."

 

I know the next part, but it hurts my heart every time I hear it.

 

"Michelle had her convinced that I was a manipulative bastard that took her daughter away from her. One day after school this friend let Michelle take Brandi before I arrived to pick her up." He clears his throat. "It was a week before they were found. She was high and drove her car into a lake. My daughter was only seven." Tears silently fall down Al's face as he finishes his story.

 

I can't help but wipe my own tears away. Every time I hear his story I can't believe he gets out of bed in the morning, let alone has his sunny disposition.

 

I knew it was my turn to share something about myself. Clearing my throat, I began. "I never really had a home when I was growing up. I bounced from foster home to foster home. Some were good places, others where horrible." I rub a few scars on my arm out of habit. "When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I wanted to give my child everything I never had growing up. I wanted to shower my baby with love." I feel myself closing up as the memories assault me. "She didn't start hitting me until after Emma was born. And it wasn't hard hits at first." I shake my head as my heart beats loudly in my ears and the heat of embarrassment floods my veins. "It wasn't until Emma was a year old that she started putting her cigarettes out on my arms when I wasn't fast enough making her food. Then she started forcing herself on me even when I wasn't... I didn't want..." My throat closed shut from embarrassment.

 

Al pats my shoulder, signaling that I don't have to continue. "Just because we're men, doesn't mean we can't be raped or abused. I think we're going to stop here for tonight. If anyone needs a ride, let me know and I will get you home. Everyone else, see you next Thursday."

 

I'm grateful that he ended the session. This is the first time I've admitted that Tanya went as far as assaulting me in that manner.

 

I stick around to help Alistair put away the chairs and the snacks.

 

"I'm really proud of you, Edward, for starting to talk more about what she did to you."

 

I nod my head. "I just wish it didn't..." I can't find the right words to describe what happens to me when I try talking about it.

 

"It's okay, man. How are the sessions with Eleazar coming along?"

 

I let out a humorless laugh, thinking about my sessions with my shrink. They aren't that bad, he just makes me talk about very uncomfortable things, and now he's talking to me about possibly taking some medication for my anxiety.

 

"It's a slow process. But he is really breaking down my walls and showing me that it's okay to feel what I'm feeling. But he's also thinking about maybe putting me on medication."

 

Al opens the door to let me out so he can lock up. "How do you feel about that?"

 

I snort, raising my brow at him. "Really?"

 

He laughs, putting his keys in his pocket. "It's a legit question."

 

I shrug because I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. "I don't know, I really don't want to be drugged up." We stop outside our cars. I put my hands in my pockets, waiting for his input.

 

"I think you do what's best for you and what you want. I will always be here for you." He shakes my hand.

 

"Thanks, man. I'll talk to you later."

 

I make my way home, finding Bella reading a book with Emma. Something warms inside me as I watch them, and I discover my thoughts toward Bella are slowly changing.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

 

My screen saver is a picture of Emma and me wearing plastic crowns, big smiles on our faces. It was taken last night while Edward was at his meeting. I haven't gotten up the nerve to ask him what exactly his Thursday night meetings are for. Deep down, I have an idea what they're about and how he met Alistair, but I don't want to push. We're at a comfortable spot where I can enter his space without his body trembling, and he can hold a conversation with me without having to be a good three to six feet away.

 

How close we're growing has become the talk among my loving siblings. Jasper is the latest with his phone call to brag about the contract Edward wrote for him.

 

"When are you guys going to announce that you're dating?" His annoying fake southern accent comes out as he pries.

 

"A, you are  _not_  from the south; B, we're just friends, for the millionth fucking time." I'm beyond exasperated over this same conversation I've had with every member of the family.

 

He chuckles, forcing my eyes to roll and my hand to roughly run through my hair. "You need to jump on that."

 

I hang up on him, turning my chair so I can look out my door where Edward is sitting. He's wearing a black button-up with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and tan Dickies. Edward is looking straight-up edible. I might not want a romantic relationship, but I can admire him.

 

He turns toward me as if he can feel me staring at me from my office. He smiles this crooked smile that melts me every time. "I'm about ready to head out to grab Emma and go to the school."

 

I clear my throat, trying to get rid of the horribly perverse thoughts that were beginning to corrupt my mind. "I'm pretty much set here, also. Jasper sends his thanks and praise for the contract."

 

His cheeks and the tips of his ears turn bright red, something that I've noticed tends to happen when he gets a compliment. "It was nothing."

 

I sigh, letting it go because I know that he isn't ready for that kind of push just yet. I stand up, putting some papers away. "Are we ready to leave for the day?"

 

He gives me a megawatt smile. "Yes, we are."

 

Emma is beyond excited when she sees us picking her up. Of course, Rose and Claire are wiggling their eyebrows behind Edward's back. I flip them off when he walks ahead of me. I'm very happy that we left early because this school campus is insane to navigate around. If I'm being honest, I'm so happy that Edward drove because I would have punched something from the road rage I'm feeling, and that would have probably set him and Emma back.

 

We finally find where we're supposed to be and park. We're halfway to the building when Edward stops.

 

"Shit, I forgot her birth certificate and stuff, hold on." Edward jogs back to the car.

 

Emma hums, looking at me with such soulful little eyes. "I'm happy you could come with us."

 

Getting down to her level, I say, "I'm very honored to be here with you."

 

"My daddy still has a hard time with girls, could you help him if he gets scared?"

 

My heart aches. "Yes, Emma, I will help out your daddy if he gets scared."

 

Emma kisses my cheek. "Thank you, Miss Bella, you're the best person ever."

 

Straightening up, I'm holding her hand in mine when Edward joins us again to meet with the tour guide. The lady waiting for us is easily in her sixties with white hair put up in a tight bun. Her skin is wrinkly and she has a permanent frown on her face as she greets us.

 

"Good Afternoon, I am Ms. Cindy. I will be showing you around the elementary campus today." She takes Edward's timid hand and shakes it firmly before moving to me.

 

I watch Edward transform from the semi-confident man that was at my office earlier today to the timid man that interviewed with me months before. "Hi, I'm... I'm Edward Swan, and... and this is my Emma Bear." Edward stutters just a bit as he tries to introduce himself and Emma.

 

Her brow raises at him before turning to me.

 

"I'm Bella Cullen, just a friend here to help out." I use my curt smile because I'm already getting a vibe from her that I don't like.

 

It doesn't help that Emma is latched onto my hand, and Edward's making it look like I'm more than a friend.

 

She gives a curt nod. "It would have been more appropriate if the child's mother was on this tour, as well."

 

Emma whimpers and Edward is visibly shaking.

 

With anger burning in my veins, I say, "Ms. Cindy, could we talk over here, please?"

 

"We need to get going." Her tone triggers my inner bitch.

 

"No, we aren't moving from this spot until we get a more professional person from this school to give us a tour."

 

She has the gall to look offended at my statement.

 

"I am the vice president of the legal department at Cullen Enterprises. We give a substantial amount of money to this school in donations, and many, if not all, of our employees' children are in attendance here. However, I'm positive we can find a more accepting school that doesn't have staff that judges a person's personal circumstances at first glance on a tour. So, I will say this one last time: go get someone with more professionalism, or we're leaving."

 

Her face is drained of color as she walks away to get someone else, I presume.

 

Edward is holding Emma in his arms, trying to be the strength for her and himself. I gently touch his arm, not offended when he flinches slightly. He thanks me softly.

 

"Anytime, Edward. You're my friend, pretty much my best friend, and no one treats my friend that way."

 

A small smile forms on his lips. "You're my best friend, too."

 

Before I can reply to that really sweet comment, a woman in her thirties with dark hair loose around her shoulders and a bright smile on her face greets us. "Hi, I'm Michelle, and I'm here to give you the tour of our amazing school, and to sign you up for kindergarten." She winks at Emma, and immediately I like her much more than the previous woman.

 

Edward introduces us again with slightly more confidence. This time no comments are made, and she begins the tour. I watch as Emma's face lights up at all the things that are offered; it's magical to watch. Then there's Edward, who tries to remain calm and ask relevant and important questions. Something inside me just warms up watching it all.

 

***Driving Forces***

 

Later that evening, Edward and I are relaxing in his living room watching TV and going through the school paperwork and supply list.

 

"Thank you for sitting here with me going through all this." Edward falls back against the couch, rubbing his face.

 

I chuckle. "Is it sad that there's nowhere else I want to be?"

 

He laughs, making him look so... quickly, I shake off those thoughts.

 

"No."

 

I fall back, too, sitting next to him because I can't help myself. "You want to talk about her?"

 

His whole body stiffens. He knows of whom I speak. "There isn't a lot to tell." His shaky voice tells me otherwise, but it also tells me not to push the issue.

 

I turn my head to look at him. His face is ashen, eyes unfocused, and his body trembling. Gently, so as not to disturb him, I take his hand and make circles on the back of it. "It's okay, Edward, you're safe now."

 

Shutting his eyes, Edward nods his head.

 

If I ever come across this woman, I am personally going to make her life a living hell for making this beautiful man like this.

 

I finally leave, but instead of going home I find myself at the cemetery walking to her little gravestone. Brushing the leaves away, I regret seeing the name  _Black_ on the stone. Who knew, though.

 

Who knew the boy I fell in love with when I was thirteen was a horrible human who would cheat on me with what I considered my blood sister. How he would kick me while I was down, when I couldn't even process what was happening because I was buried the day she was.

 

I kiss the headstone and tell her about everything that has been happening.

 

How she is going to have another half sibling.

 

How I have met Edward and Emma. How much that I have come to care for them.

 

I can't help but shed more tears as I talk to my daughter, wondering if the pain is ever going to get easier to bear. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**EPOV**   
  


Eleazar is sitting across from me with his feet up on the coffee table, his shoes off. His glasses are on the top of his head while he munches on some Cheez-its. This is what I love of about visiting him; how laid back it is here. He keeps the environment friendly and home-like.

 

"How was your appointment for Emma's school?"

 

After blowing out some air, I answer him. "It started out rough. The first lady was really rude to me, but Bella stepped in and basically told her that we wanted someone else, or she was going to take Cullen Enterprise's business elsewhere. And after we got the new lady it was awesome. Emma was in love with all the different programs, and that her friends are going to be there."

 

He smiles, writing something down. "I'm glad it worked out. How did it feel having Bella step in like that for you?"

 

The moment flashes through my mind. "Relief."

 

He stays quiet, giving me a chance to explain my feelings.

 

"I've never had anyone..." I pause, letting out a frustrated sigh as I try to figure out what I mean. "I haven't had a lot of people in my corner. When that woman began to make assumptions and comments toward me, I could feel panic raising in my chest." I take a deep breath, letting the feeling pass. "Then Bella just stepped in and helped me. She was just amazing; she  _is_  amazing."

 

I feel his eyes on me and see him with a small smirk on his lips when I look up. "What?"

 

He shifts in his seat and pops a cracker in his mouth before responding to me. "Are you beginning to feel more than friendship for Bella?"

 

I drag my fingers through my hair as I ponder his question. "I don't think it would be a good idea to even think about something like that."

 

His brow raises. "You're a man, Edward, it's normal to have those kinds of thoughts and feelings." He pauses for a moment. "Urges."

 

I wipe my hands on my pants roughly as the memories of Tanya flow through me. "No, NO!" It hurts so much. I squeeze my eyes closed and try to shake the memories out of my head.

 

"Edward, you're safe, you're in a safe place. Breathe in; one... two... three... four."

 

I breathe in and then out, finally breaking free of the overwhelming feelings. Our eyes meet, and his show nothing but compassion.

 

"I'm sorry." My voice cracks.

 

"There's nothing to apologize for, Edward. You were assaulted in so many ways. It wasn't your fault."

 

I nod my head, still unsteady.

 

"What are you doing this upcoming weekend?" He changes the subject to something safe to help me get out of my head.

 

I can't help but smile when thinking about my plans. "Bella is coming school shopping with us, and then she asked me to accompany her to a family dinner for moral support."

 

A ghost of a smile plays on his lips. "Why does she need support at a family function?"

 

My smile falls as I think about why. "She wants to see her family more outside of work, but her step sister is married to her ex-husband. It's complicated." Rubbing the back of my neck, I wonder if I'm good enough to be the support she needs.

 

"You  _are_  good enough." I swear the man can read my mind. "That's all the time we have for today. Have a great weekend, and I'll see you next week, same time."

 

I wave as I let myself out, thinking about Bella and whether there might be more than friendship between us.

 

***Driving Forces***

 

Bella is giggling as she helps Emma put things away from our shopping trip. It's been such a great day. Though I must admit Bella bought way too much stuff for Emma, I didn't have the heart to stop her. She was beyond happy, and so was Emma.

 

As I'm putting away a few groceries Bella comes in the kitchen. "Thank you for not putting a stop to my overspending."

 

Chuckling, I answer, "Well, I thought if I did, I would lose Emma to you."

 

She rolls her eyes at me, chuckling. "That could have been a possibility."

 

I look over at her. There are very few times that I have ever noticed Bella getting nervous, and when she does, she fidgets and chews on her fingernails.

 

"Can I ask you something personal and you won't get upset?" I wonder if she can hear me as I whisper.

 

Sitting down, she doesn't take her eyes off me. "You can always ask me anything, and I'll try to answer it."

 

Clearing my throat and sitting across from her, I can hear Emma in her bedroom playing. "Your dad and siblings seem awesome so why would they tolerate Leah and Jake?" I pause for a moment to arrange my next words. "I'm surprised that Jake even has the balls to step foot on your dad's property."

 

Bella's face takes on this faraway look, and she sighs. "Jake actually was sent to the hospital with a broken nose and fractured ribs when everything went down. Leah cried, and refused to let anyone near her and Sara for six months." She runs her fingers through her brown locks. "I sat them all down, and said they needed to forgive her and Jake. Sara is an innocent child that deserves to be part of this wonderful family. I lied and said I forgave them, and that I wanted to start having them to family dinners." Tears are silently falling down her cheeks.

 

I reach across the table and take her hand, squeezing it just a little. I'm in awe of her sacrifice and strength.

 

"Jake wasn't-" She lets out a frustrated sigh. "Despite the cheating, and leaving me after I lost our daughter, he was nice. He cooked, he took care of me, and he would sacrifice his happiness for mine all the time. And sometimes I think that's why he never told me that he wanted to leave me; he couldn't stand to hurt me that way. He hurt me a lot worse, but-" Her mouth snapped shut with a growl.

 

"I get it, Bella," I murmur, scooting closer to her as she rests her head on my shoulder.

 

"I really hate him. And I'm still so angry with her, my sister who I would die for."

 

"Maybe you should talk to someone about it. There are lots of support groups, and I know a really good counselor." I wrap my arm around her shoulders.

 

"Yeah, maybe I should."

 

"How about we order pizza, pick a silly movie from Netflix, and just chill here."

 

She giggles. "I think that sounds a lot better than going to the awkward family dinner."

 

"I concur." I chuckle. And that's what we do; order pizza and buy some junk food from the corner store. We pick a kid-appropriate silly movie so we can laugh.

 

We put Emma to bed and pick an adult comedy for us to watch. We laugh until Bella falls asleep on the couch. Covering her up, I can't help but think about her situation. I pick up my phone and text a few people, telling them my concerns and my plan. It isn't long before everything is set in motion.

 

The next day, Emma is all giggles when I tell her what I have planned for Bella. This, of course, makes Bella question everything.

 

"Why are we so giggly, miss Emma Bear?" Bella tickles her, making her laugh more.

 

Emma is laughing so hard tears are streaking down her cheeks. "It's a surprise!"

 

Before Emma can give away too much more, I say, "Let's go, ladies, our chariot awaits."

 

The entire drive to Bella's home, Emma bounces in her seat and Bella tries giving me a stare down. Good thing she's smiling as she does it, or I would probably crack.

 

As soon as we pull into her driveway we see it lined with her family's cars. Her mouth pops open. "What's going on, Edward?"

 

Clearing my throat, I pray that I didn't cross a line. "I know you want to be part of family dinners, but it's too painful to see Leah and Jake. I also know you enough, I think, that you don't want to tell anyone because you don't want to make a fuss. So as your designated best friend, I called your family and told them to set up a dinner at your house." I'm rambling now, and sweat is forming on my palms and trickling down my forehead. I really worry if I've made a mistake with this plan.

 

"Edward, may I hug you?" Her words erase all the worry.

 

"Yes."

 

She lunges across the console and squeezes me tightly before bursting out of the car to greet everyone. Of course, Emma is on her heels so she can greet her best friend, Ollie.

 

It's what I always wanted to be part of when I was a child; the laughter, children running around, and family being together. Almost immediately, Bella, Alice, and Rose go against Emmett, Jasper, and Seth in a touch football game.

 

I meet Carlisle and Esme, and they're just as nice as the rest of them. I have a hard time believing this nice family could have been so blind to Bella's pain.

 

"It's not that we were blind," Esme answers me as I ask her as nicely as I can. "We were just doing what Bella asked us to do. It  _is_  hard, painfully so, to watch her try to muscle through her pain. To pretend that everything is okay. The least we could do was give her what she asked for."

 

Sue hums in agreement. "I want to thank you for speaking up when she wouldn't." She pats my hand.

 

Shrugging my shoulders, I look out at Bella in the yard, sporting red cheeks and sparkling eyes. "I would do anything for her."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**BPOV**

 

"Want to tell me what's making you squirm on the couch?" Kate raises her perfectly sculpted brow at me.

 

I've been seeing Kate for about a month now, twice a week. Edward gave me his counselor's office number and she's who they recommended to me. She's feisty and sarcastic, but she's also understanding and knows the pain I'm experiencing. She, too, had a miscarriage during the last trimester.

 

Blowing out some air, I respond, "I feel that there may be more developing between me and Edward." She doesn't lower her brow, knowing that I'm just skimming the surface of what really bothers me. "We've been pretty much staying with each other every night, whether it's his place or mine. We hold hands all the time, and he likes to cuddle. I don't know what to think or how to really feel about it."

 

Kate hums as she writes something down. "Would you want more with him?"

 

The question rolls around in my head over and over. I think about the feelings he gives me when he takes my hand. I remember the butterflies I get when we spoon on the couch watching a scary movie. The silly faces he makes when he's concentrating on work at the office. But then I think about the panic in his eyes when we woke up and my leg was hitched up and pressed against his crotch. It caused a panic attack that took Alistair coming over  _and_  an extra session with Eleazar to calm him down. I still can't get his broken face out of my head.

 

"I don't think it matters what I might want. Edward is too fragile to even talk about an intimate relationship." I hear the sadness that laces my tone.

 

Kate sets her notepad down and comes over to sit next to me, taking my hand. "It doesn't have to be intimate, maybe just a few friendly dates. I think you might be surprised at what Edward wants."

 

I shake my head. "I'm messed up enough as it is; I don't want to take him down with me."

 

"Messed up, no." Kate softens just a bit. "In pain, yes. What happened to you doesn't make you messed up. What you're feeling doesn't make you messed up."

 

I nod my head, understanding what she's saying, but doubt still lingers.

 

She walks back over to her chair. "I think I'll give you homework. By our next session, I want you to write down your feelings about Edward. What would you like to happen in the future? What would give you the motivation to approach Edward for more than a friendship? Okay?"

 

I bite my lip. "I can try."

 

I go home and think about everything she said. Knowing I'm going to overthink it, I pull out a notebook and start working on my ‘homework'. But as I stare at the blank paper I have no idea where to start. Do I start with when I began to realize that I have more than friendly feelings toward him? Would I begin with how strong he makes me feel because, after everything he's probably been through, he still manages to smile every day? Maybe I start with what I want for my future. I want to feel less angry, and less pain. I want to kiss him.

 

My head hits the desk with a thud and I let out a frustrated sigh. I am going to hell. Needing to put my focus somewhere else, I take out paperwork and focus on the contracts and cases that need my attention.

 

After a bit of time has passed, I hear a knock on my front door.

 

Remembering tonight is Edward's group therapy, I realize he's probably dropping Emma off, but when I answer the door, Edward is there alone with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.

 

"Where's Emma?" I can hear just the slightest panic in my own voice.

 

Edward meets my eyes. "I left her with Rose. I um...wanted to ask y-you..."

 

I wait patiently, but also with my nerves on edge. He can't be asking what I think he's asking.  

 

He growls as he hands me a piece of paper. "I want you to come tonight. To listen. If you can, stay in the back where I can't see you, but I want you there."

 

I feel a very slight pang of sadness that he didn't ask me what I thought he was going to, but also relief that it wasn't that. I take the paper, pressing it against my chest. "I'll be there."

 

He sighs in relief. "Okay. I'm going to head that way. Um... I'll see you after."

 

I nod in agreement, watching him walk to his car and drive away before I shut the door.

He wants me to be there tonight. He wants me to come and listen. How should I feel about that? Should I be taking this a certain way? Does this mean something? I find myself pacing around the house, my mind going a thousand miles a minute. I stop in front of my door, immobile and scared to death. Finally, I pull out my cell phone and dial.

 

"Bella?" Kates wary voice answers.

 

"Edward wants me to come to his meeting tonight. He wants me to listen to what happened to him in the past." I choke up from the fear.

 

She doesn't immediately answer, and I can hear the wheels spinning in her head. "What about that worries you?"

 

Taking a deep breath, I say, "Should I think anything of this?"

 

A small sigh enters my ear. "Be there for him as a friend, but try not to think of it any other way. He wants you there, so be there."

 

"Yes, yes. I'll be there."

 

With a new determination, I say goodbye and head out the door. It feels like a never-ending drive. Even with the reassurance from Kate, I feel nervous. What if I can't handle what he has to say?

 

Pulling up to the building and parking, I take a deep breath. It doesn't matter what comes out of his mouth. It doesn't matter if I throw up afterward. I will be there for him.

I let out the breath I was holding and go in quietly, pretty sure the meeting has begun. I see Alistair and Eleazar sitting in the circle. I keep to the shadows so that I don't disturb anyone. Spotting both of them makes me worry so much. The need to be close to Edward is strong. Taking a deep breath, I find a seat where I can still hear, but far enough in the back to hopefully not be seen.

 

There's a small wooden podium that Edward steps up to, and he clutches the edges of it. His face seems a bit green, making me grab the edge of my seat so I don't get up and go to him.

 

Clearing his throat, he begins. "My name is Edward Swan. A little over a year ago, I was fighting for my life." He takes a shaky breath. I can already feel tears clogging the back of my throat. "I grew up in foster care. I don't remember anything about my birth parents. I've had a few good foster parents and a few bad." I watch him subconsciously rub his right arm before gripping the podium again. "I met Tanya my senior year of high school. She was the only person to be nice to me, to show me attention. We started a relationship about midway through the year. Toward the end of the school year, about the time I aged out of the system, she told me she was pregnant." He roughly wipes his hands on his jeans and looks over to Alistair and Eleazar before he continues. "Her parents kicked her out of their house, so it was just us. I got a job and so did she. I was excited to be a dad. I was going to show my baby so much love. I promised that I was going to be the best dad in the world." He stops and shakes his head. "Emma was just a few months old when Tanya started calling me names, like idiot or stupid. Then she began hitting me. They weren't hard hits at first, but as time went on, they became harder and more frequent, and the name-calling got much worse.

 

"On Emma's first birthday Tanya hit me with a baseball bat because I had to pull a double shift at a factory and then work a few hours at my second job to make sure we had enough for rent and a perfect birthday for our daughter. She broke my forearm." His voice cracks just a bit. "The... sexual..." He pauses, looking down and shifting his feet. "I stopped being able to have sex with her after that. I couldn't." He lets out a harsh breath. "When I wasn't interested in having sex, she would sit...sit..."

 

Tears stream down my cheeks. I have to cover my mouth to hold in the sobs because of the images that pop into my head.

 

"She would sit on my face until I couldn't breathe." His face is pale, and his knuckles are white from clasping the edges of the podium. "I lived with everything she did to me because I was so scared that she would take my Emma away from me. The one thing that kept me going, kept me moving forward. I didn't report her because I thought no one would believe me." He lets out a humorless laugh. "I stayed, I survived everything, until I almost didn't. One day, I had a shift at work, but Tanya was high out of her mind, so I decided to take Emma with me. I'd done it so many times before that I didn't think it would be a big deal."

 

Tears fall silently down his face. My legs are pulled up to my chest as I hold everything in. This gorgeous, beautiful man, and what he has been through...  _God_.

 

"I had Emma ready to go and we were about to head out the door when Tanya began shrieking about me stealing her daughter." His eyes are glassed over as he relives the moment in his mind. "I tried to calm her down and kept Emma behind me. Tanya repeatedly hit me and screamed at me, and the next thing I knew, burning pain shot through my stomach. My... my hands went the wound on my stomach, and then I felt another pain to my side and then my back. I could hear Emma screaming. I remember trying to calm her, reassure her that I was fine, but there was blood everywhere." I watch Edward's eyes clear as he looks around the room. "I was told a neighbor called the police. Tanya was taken away. Emma was put into temporary foster care. I was in the hospital for a month. During that time, Alistair showed up and began talking to me. He helped me through the process of getting sole custody of Emma and pressing charges against Tanya.

 

"It's a long, tough road, healing from everything. Especially when society tells you that men can't be raped, that they can't be domestic violence victims." He clears his throat. "I never thought the nightmares would end, but I haven't had one in a month. I really believed that I was stupid, and dumb, and couldn't amount to anything. But now, I'm an assistant to a renowned lawyer and I'll be starting paralegal classes soon. Maybe one day, I'll even be a lawyer." His lips pull up to a small smile. "I've even found a woman, an amazing woman. I still have so many things to work through, but for the first time, I feel like I'll be okay. I know how some of you feel. I've been there; I'm still there sometimes." He looks over at Alistair and Eleazar. "But it  _will_  get better."

 

I don't hear much after that. Anger burns through me, followed by sadness. My eyes follow Edward as he goes to Eleazar and they talk as Alistair addresses the other attendees. Edward looks around but doesn't seem to find what he's looking for. My feet begin to move on their own accord and his eyes land on me as I walk to him. I ask him with my eyes if I can touch him, and he nods slowly.

 

I embrace him, and everything inside of me knows exactly what I want for my future. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**EPOV**  
  
My hands are clammy as I rest them on the wood of the podium. My heart is pounding in my ears as I swallow hard. My eyes never look up at the people waiting for me to speak. My entire body wants to bolt. I want to hide, but I don't. I manage to get the words out.

Everything that I worried about didn't happen. I still can't believe that I did it. I told my story and Bella was there. She's still talking to me, holding my hand, and being everything I need and even slightly more since hearing my story. It's not long after Bella hugs me that I cry. And she holds me the whole time, humming me a soft melody.  
  
I've had a few nightmares since telling my story, but nothing like they were in the months after my near-death experience.  
  
Eleazar and Alistair rehearsed and rehearsed with me what I wanted to say to the group and what I wanted Bella to hear. I needed Bella to hear it. The focal point of my last session was the possibility of a relationship with Bella. Gathering the nerve to ask her on a date. Not that I've gotten to that part; I've been too nervous that she'll say no to me.  
  
My nerves are no better when Bella is invited to a girls' night and takes Emma with her. She thinks it'll be good for me to host a guys' night at my apartment.  
  
Bella's brothers and Alistair are sitting around my table with drinks and chips, playing cards. They're great, and we're having a blast, but I can't help wondering if they think I would be good enough for their sister. This thought makes me bounce my knee uncontrollably.  
  
I feel Al's eyes on me, and I'm sure he has a meddling smirk on his face. My fears are confirmed when I hear him clear his throat.  
  
"What was it like growing up with Bella?"  
  
A small sigh escapes my lips, thanking God that he didn't say something else. Like,  _hey, do you think Bella would date Edward, here_?  
  
Emmett's booming laugh bounces off the walls of my apartment. "She was a firecracker." He gets a wistful look on his face.  
  
Jasper begins smiling with the same look. "Bella ran our household like a well-oiled machine."  
  
Emmett snorts as his brother's assessment. "She did. You did  _not_  want to piss her off, either."  
  
"Isn't Bella the youngest?" Al grabs two cards.  
  
"I am, but before I came along, yes, she was," Seth answers, throwing his cards down and putting his hands behind his head.  
  
"That didn't ever stop her from being the boss." Jasper chuckles.  
  
I can't help but smile at the image. Bella with a wooden spoon, a good foot shorter than her brothers, yelling at them while they stare down at her in shame.  
  
Around and around, they tell different stories of Bella.  
  
Bella going toe-to-toe with teachers to prove that she was right. Her infamous right hook that took out a quarterback when he touched her ass. Bella graduating as valedictorian with Jasper. Jasper was proud to be in her class. She never let her brothers get away with anything. And when Leah, Seth, and Sue joined the family, Bella took Leah under her wing and helped Sue out with everything she could.  
  
My heart pangs to think about Bella taking on being a mother hen at a young age. To take on a sister like that and then have her heart broken by her.  
  
Seth clears his throat. "Edward, I heard that you registered for classes."  
  
Feeling their eyes on me brings heat to my cheeks, and I find myself squirming in my seat. "Yeah, I start in January."  
  
Al smiles and the others whoop for me. The heat of embarrassment spreads through my body at their encouragement. I'm still trying to get used to having so much support.  
  
"You going to stay Bella's assistant?" Emmett has this weird look on his face as he asks.  
  
Not missing a beat, I answer, "I wouldn't leave Bella."  
  
My own voice hits my ears and I hear it. I hear how I sound. And I know I'm screwed when I look at the faces around me and find them smirking and refusing to make eye contact with me. I shrink into myself, trying to hide my obvious mortification.  
  
Seth chuckles. "You're a good guy, Edward."  
  
Emmett's sigh is one of relief. "Thank God. I don't think I could survive her training a new assistant."  
  
Jasper laughs in agreement with his brother.  
  
It isn't much longer before everyone but Alistair leaves. He helps me get my place back in order before Bella gets home with Emma.  
  
"You have the brothers' approval." Al chuckles.  
  
I roll my eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Mm-hm," he hums as he watches me. Shifting my feet, I find myself putting my hands in my pockets.  
  
I feel his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "If it counts for anything, I'm pretty sure she's on the same page as you."  
  
Same page as me. Huh.   
  
He leaves as Bella comes home with Kool-Aid-dyed hair and a big smile.  
  
"You have fun?"  
  
"I did."

 

*Driving Forces*

 

  
I'm looking through rental ads as Bella screams into the phone at someone. I'm just glad it's not me. I still haven't gotten the nerve to ask Bella out. There have been plenty of moments for it, but the words never come.  
  
The mail cart comes around and I end up with two piles in my inbox. The first pile is all for Bella, but the second is two separate letters addressed to me. The seal pressed into the upper left-hand corner on each of the different envelopes gets my heart pumping.  
  
"Edward?" Bella's tone is laced with concern.  
  
My hands shaking uncontrollably, I lift the letters up so she can see. There's only one reason I'm getting letters like this, and it can't be anything good.  
  
I feel Bella take the letters with one hand, but her other takes my hand to pull me up and guide me to her couch. She never leaves my side, never letting go of my hand as I sit down.  
  
"Do you mind if I open these?" Her voice is gentle as my hand clasps hers tightly. I nod.  
  
She pulls her hand away slowly, almost as if she doesn't want to. I hear the tearing of the envelopes. After just a few heartbeats, I hear a sharp intake of breath and then a frantic tear of the other envelope, and a growl finally makes me look at her.  
  
Her face would send me into a panic if I didn't know Bella to the core. She finally looks at me.  
  
"Edward, things are about to get rough, but I swear to you on everything I am or have that she will not hurt you, and she will  _not_  get anywhere near you or Emma. I would die before that happened."  
  
My chest tightens, and my vision darkens. This can't be happening.  
  
"What does it say?" I ask hoarsely, not wanting the answer.  
  
She takes a deep breath. "The first letter says that Tanya has been granted early parole for good behavior and that she completed rehab and anger management courses without any setbacks."  
  
My body begins to tremble; this can't be real.  
  
"The second is a petition to the court from Tanya to get visitation rights with Emma."  
  
My body moves on its own, standing up and pacing. "No, no, no, no. She can't!"  
  
Bella stands in front of me, taking my trembling hands into hers. Our eyes meet, and I can see the determination in hers.  
  
"Over my dead body will that woman get anywhere near either of you."  
  
Despite the tears staining my cheeks, I believe her. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**BPOV**

I can't help overanalyzing what just happened. In a span of a few moments, everything was ruined. I swear that Edward and I were right on the brink of planning our first date as a couple. We were moving forward. But now... what happens now? Internally, I curse myself out for even thinking about such things when Edward is scared and frightened.  
  
I drop my head in my hands, and the papers are right in front of my face.

 

_Rage._

 

Pure, unadulterated rage flows through my body as I stare at the legal paperwork.  
  
They let her out. They let that psychotic bitch out of her fucking cell. My hands tremble as I set them on the desk, trying to think straight. The problem is, the papers are in my sightline and I can't help looking at them again. Edward left all of it with me when I told him to go home for the day. He ended up going to my house with Emma, Eleazar, and Alistair. Edward said didn't feel safe at his apartment, so I told him to go to my place because I have extra security features. That way, he and Emma can feel safe. I want to tell him never to leave, to move in with me. Then he and Emma can feel safe forever.  
  
I wish I was at home with them eating pizza and watching something silly, but I'm beyond furious and I don't want to scare them, considering what is happening right now.  
  
Books are laid all over my desk and my computer has different case documents open. I've spent the past few hours looking up everything I can to make sure that there is no possible way Tanya can get anywhere near them.  
  
The door in my office opens, causing me to look up at my dad.  
  
Charlie Cullen has always known when I needed him. As a family man, I think he has it ingrained into his DNA to just know when one of his kids needs him. He gives me a sympathetic smile as he walks in and sits down.  
  
I can feel his gaze as he assesses me. My eyes are welling up, but I refuse to blink and let the tears fall.  
  
A small sigh escapes Dad. "Are you okay?" His whiskey-smooth voice washes over me, soothing me just a bit.  
  
Shaking my head, I fall back against my chair and close my eyes. I'm desperately holding the angry tears at bay. "I don't think I've been this angry in a very long time."

 

Memories flash behind my eyelids: the loss of my baby, the divorce, the betrayal of two people that were very close to me. And yet, this anger seems to be burning at my core.  
  
He hums. "Tell me."  
  
I cluck my tongue. "Edward has lived through hell.  _Hell_ , Dad. Survived it miraculously, really, and now,  _now_  the woman responsible for his near-death is getting out of prison and has filed to get visitation rights with Emma." I growl just thinking of the injustice of it all.  
  
I hear his chair scratch against the floor as he brings it closer to me and takes my hand. "What's the plan?"

 

I can't help but smile at his protective-dad tone. Clearing my throat and looking him dead in the eyes, I say, "I'm going to fight for him and Emma, and I'm going to use every resource and power at my disposal."  
  
Patting my hand, he replies, "And every single member of the Cullen family is going to be there every step of the way."  
  
I latch onto him, hugging him fiercely. "I can't lose him." The tears finally break free, making feel like a little girl needing her daddy.  
  
Dad makes shushing noises and rubs my back. "Over my dead body will you ever lose that man and his daughter. They're part of the family now."  
  
He holds me for a long while, letting me cry on his shoulder and telling me everything is going to be okay.  
  
"He was just starting to feel comfortable in his own skin." I finally pull away to wipe the tears off my cheeks and chin.  
  
"I think with you and all of us standing next to him, he will continue to be comfortable in his own skin."

 

He cups my cheek and I nod my head against his hand. "I'm going to choose to believe that."

 

*Driving Forces*

  
I have to sit in my car in the driveway to gather the strength to go in. I have no idea what's waiting for me inside. I can see that Al is still here, but Eleazar's car is gone. I also see that the new security cameras are up and the gate code is working.  
  
Sighing heavily, I gather my courage and head inside where everyone is in the kitchen eating some pizza. Emma is giggling, which is such a wonderful sound to hear instead of crying.  
  
Her laughter puts a smile on my face and I greet everyone. "Hey."  
  
Emma jumps up and hugs me and begins talking about her day. Edward has a smile on his face, but his eyes are unfocused. Alistair just nods, but he's watching Edward like a hawk.  
  
As Emma keeps talking and talking it occurs to me that she hasn't been told what's going on.  
  
I don't broach the subject, instead I eat and make small talk, feeling the intense pressure building around us as Emma's bedtime comes around. Edward and I tuck her in together. I keep up the charade that Edward and Alistair created to keep Emma happy and unafraid.  
  
The moment her door is shut we head back to the kitchen. I watch Edward's body crumble into a chair.  
  
"I am so scared, Bella."

 

I sat in the chair next to him and picked up his cold hand. "I know, but we're all going to be here for you. We'll fix this, I promise."

 

"I wish I believed you wielded that kind of power."

 

I nudged him with my shoulder. "You bet your ass the Cullen name does, and we're all here for you."

 

I saw hope flare in his eyes, and that meant everything to me. We would figure it out together.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**EPOV**  
  
Emma and I have found ourselves essentially living with Bella, and I love it. I love being there with Bella all the time. I've never felt that Emma and I were as safe as I do now.  
  
  


That being said, right now, Bella is terrifying. If it was anyone else, I would be afraid, but it's her, and I feel nothing but safe. Even with the scary-lawyer-face she's using right now. Bella has been on Tanya's lawyer like white on rice, sending her cease and desist letters and calling her in the attempt to get them to drop the request so I wouldn't have to see the inside of a courtroom. All to no avail.  
  
Watching how Bella has become this force to be reckoned with has also moved something inside me that I had long forgotten.   
  
Shaking my head clear of my thoughts, I focus on Bella pleading with the judge to have the visitation request thrown out.  
  
"Your Honor, Ms. Denali was charged with aggravated assault, attempted murder, and child endangerment. It's horrifying that I even have to explain why she shouldn't be allowed to ask for any rights after they were terminated," Bella asserts, disbelief masking her tone.  
  
Tanya's lawyer scoffs. "Your Honor, my client was high at the time of the trial. She didn't even know what was happening during that time, let alone that her rights were being terminated. She deserves the right to prove herself worthy."  
  
My body trembles at the thought that Tanya is getting away with everything, and now she's going to be able to get near Emma.  
  
"Your Honor." I hear Bella's eye roll in her voice as she addresses the judge.  
  
He puts his hand up. "Enough. I will allow Ms. Denali to argue her point on another day."  
  
I stand without conscious thought, feeling Bella's hand in mine. I hear her reassure me that everything is going to be all right, but my eyes are locked on  _her_. Her bleached-blonde hair is cropped to her ears and she is thinner than the last time I saw her.  
  
Tanya's steely eyes meet mine and I see the smirk. I can see in her eyes the hate that was there before she started doing drugs.  
  
She's doing all this to hurt me.  
  
"Yes, she is." Bella's voice is pure venom as she squeezes my hand, watching as Tanya walks out with her lawyer.  
  
I clear my throat. "I didn't realize I said that out loud."  
  
Bella turns to me and smiles gently, and this unexplainable urge to kiss her overcomes me. Before I can act, I feel a firm hand on my shoulder.  
  
"That girl is going to feel the full force of the Cullen's for messing with one of us."  
  
I turn to Charlie, who stares daggers at Tanya with his lips curled in disgust. Then he turns away, almost as if dismissing her.   
  
"Bella, Sue has started dinner at your house so we can talk some more strategy."  
  
Bella nods as she squeezes my hand before letting go to gather her things.  
  
Arriving back home, a smile graces my lips for a second, thinking about Bella's house as my home.  
  
"Dad wasn't kidding when he said everyone was here." Bella lets out a breathy laugh as she parks the car.  
  
All the kids are running around with Emma, and all the adults, including Alistair, Eleazar, and Carmen, are waiting for us with the wonderful aroma of delicious food.  
  
We all take our seats around the table, the kids sitting at their own table with the assistance of Claire and Rose to keep them distracted. Soon the conversation around us becomes about strategy.  
  
"What they're trying to establish is that Tanya was never abusive until she began taking drugs and that it was the drugs that impaired her to the point of being harmful to herself and others. Supposedly, when she was in court for the custody hearing she wasn't competent enough to understand her rights." Bella rolls her eyes and takes a drink.  
  
I feel several sets of eyes flicker to me "It did start way before that," I whisper, feeling that I have to justify myself.  
  
I feel Bella's hand on my arm and our eyes meet. "We all know that, and I'm going to prove it to the judge over and over again."  
  
I believe every word she says.  
  
"What do you need from us?" Carmen asks as she points to Alistair, Eleazar, and herself.  
  
Bella gives a small smile. "I need to establish a timeline of sorts and to establish that Edward and Emma's abuse began long before Tanya started using drugs. I do  _not_  want to put Emma or Edward on the stand. Instead, I want to use you three. With Edward's consent, of course." She gives me a quick glance and I nod.  
  
There is no way in hell that Emma will enter that courtroom. I would prefer if hell froze over before I had to be in the hot seat, but I would suck it up if I had to.  
  
"Okay, I have video recordings of Emma right after the attack on Edward. She had bruises and welts, which should help with establishing that the abuse started before the drugs," Carmen said.  
  
It was a long time before a solid plan A and even a plan B was in place. Before I knew it I was getting hugs and everyone was saying goodbye.  
  
Bella and I read a couple of stories with Emma as we tuck her in.  
  
"Daddy, she isn't going to take me away from you and Bella, is she?"

 

My heart tightens as Bella sinks onto the bed next to Emma and I kneel next to the bed, taking her small hand into mine.  
  
"Bella and I will make sure that never happens, baby." My eyes connect with Bella's as she runs her fingers through Emma's hair.  
  
"I'm working with Carmen, Al, and El"-Bella drops a kiss to Emma's forehead-"to make sure she doesn't get anywhere near you."  
  
Bella and I both stay with Emma until she falls asleep to keep her reassured that she's safe. When we finally leave her room, Bella and I hold hands and slowly walk to the living room.  
  
My gut is twisting and every nerve is tingling throughout my body. Even with everything happening right now, all I can think about is her lips. Are they as soft as they look? My God, how long has it been since I've had a kiss? Am I okay enough to kiss Bella? Would she want to kiss me?  
  
I let out an audible sigh as so many doubts and questions overrun my mind.  
  
Bella turns around and looks at me. "Are you okay?"  
  
The concern in her voice just calms everything. Taking her hands into mine, I pull her in close until our bodies are touching.  
  
"Edward?" My name comes out on a breath and I just know she wants this, too.  
  
I lean in close, her lips just millimeters away. "I've been thinking about this since we were in the courtroom." I can't believe I'm doing this. I press my lips to hers.  
  
Her body relaxes into me as she presses her lips firmly back to mine.  
  
My lips curve up. "I can't believe I'm kissing you."  
  
Her giggle makes my heart pound hard in my chest. "Believe it, because I'm going to kiss you every chance I get."

***Driving Forces***

 

  
I have been at every group meeting and several extra meetings with Eleazar. Emma has been seeing Carmen twice a week and she has her own little group she also started going to. Tanya has really stirred up so much shit with taking me to court. With Bella and everyone standing with us, it feels like we're going to survive it.  
  
But what has made everything bearable is tonight. Tonight, Bella and I are going on a date. A real date.  
  
Nothing makes the fear and pain disappear faster than kissing Bella. And she's okay with just kissing. She doesn't ask for anything more.  
  
Rose immediately volunteered to take Emma while we go out tonight. Emma was happy to spend more time with Ollie and Aunty Rose. We told her that we were going out, but in her little mind, she didn't see any significance.  
  
I run my hand through my hair and straighten out my shirt for the millionth time.  
  
"You ready?" Alistair came by to make sure I was doing okay for my date tonight.  
  
I nod. "I think so."  
  
He pats my back, making me look over at him. He's smiling wide.   
  
"What?" I look back to the mirror, checking for anything out of place.  
  
He chuckles. "I'm just so happy to see this day."  
  
I can't help but smile. "Me, too."  
  
Alistair leaves and I decide to wait for Bella in the living room, trying not to pace the length of it. I have to constantly remind myself that this is okay. I need to live my life. Life continues, even when an evil bitch wants to ruin it.  
  
"Edward." Her voice prompts me to stop my pacing and look at her.  
  
I freeze on the spot with my mouth hanging open as I take her in. There really isn't any word that could truly describe how perfect she looks.  
  
Bella is wearing a pink lace dress with a belt at her waist and a black jacket. Her legs could go on for miles, ending in black high heels. Her hair is pulled half up with loose curls hanging around her face.  
  
As I stare at her, Bella's cheeks pinken.  
  
Snapping my mouth shut and clearing my throat, I explain, "I'm sorry, it's just that you look breathtaking."  
  
Bella bites her bottom lip just a little. "Thank you. Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Yes," I answer quickly. Unable to help myself I take her soft hand and kiss her lips gently before leading her out.  
  
I open her door for her and before I close it behind her I swear I hear her sigh at the action. I can't be sure because my blood is pumping in my ears.  
  
We always go out to eat, so tonight I wanted to do something different in hopes of sparking new conversation between us that isn't about Emma or court-related. This evening we leave earlier than a normal date perhaps, but I think it will be worth it.  
  
The first stop is Chihuly Garden and Glass Museum. Bella wears a contagious smile as she sees where we are. "I haven't been here since I was a child."  
  
Not being able to stop myself from touching her I take her hand and lead us in.  
  
It's spectacular. Bella and I can't stop talking about all the different glass sculptures and how much work had to go into each one. She takes pictures with her phone of her favorite pieces and often stops to take one of the two of us.  
  
When we finally reach the end, she looks almost sad.  
  
"Are you ready for the next part?" I smile, tugging her along.  
  
Giggling really does suit her. "There's more?"  
  
Smiling wider, I answer, "Oh, yes, and I hope you like it." A little bit of doubt creeps in.  
  
She kisses my cheek. "Whatever it is, I'll love it because I'm with you."  
  
Bella gives me a questioning look when I pull into the parking lot of our next destination.  
  
"I thought we would be hungry so I made reservations for a food tour followed by an underground tour."  
  
"Really?" she asks excitedly.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She claps her hands and bounces in her seat. "I've always wanted to do this, but..." her voice trails off.  
  
I get out quickly and open her door. "Then I'm glad we're doing this because I've always wanted to do it, too."  
  
We ate food that I never would have any other time, but it was worth it to get Bella laughing. We laugh and giggle so much while trying out the different vendors, then we go on the Underground History Tour and Bella holds onto me like a lifeline as we listen to creepy tales and history of the area. She feels safe with me. That means so much to me.  
  
Arriving back home, we're still laughing and just everything feels right in the world until we see everyone waiting for us.  
  
"What's going on?" Bella straightens herself out as she climbs out of the car.  
  
Emma runs up to me, crying, and clings to me for dear life.  
  
"We went out for ice cream and Tanya showed up and tried talking to Emma."  
  
A strangled noise comes out of my mouth before words finally form. "Did she touch her?"  
  
Rose shook her head. "I told her to get away, that she was under a restraining order and that Emmett was calling the cops. She walked away, but not before telling Emma she would be seeing her soon."  
  
Emma sobs hard into my leg. I crouch down and pick her up, holding her tight.  
  
Bella comes over and kisses Emma's cheek while rubbing my back. "That crazy bitch has another think coming."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**BPOV**

Tomorrow begins our fight. Tomorrow, we go to court and begin our journey of proving that the first judgment of taking Tanya's rights away was the right one. Finding out that Tanya tried to talk to Emma after our first date, which violated the protection order, put Edward on a mission. He gave me permission to do an in-depth digging into their past.

 

I hired a private detective to help with gathering information to prove that Tanya was dangerous and abusive without the drugs. It doesn't seem that it's going to be a hard sell considering some of the things I've found out about Ms. Tanya Denali.

 

The first thing we discovered was that her parents hired their own detective to find out where Emma and Edward are living, where he works, and where she goes to school; they also attempted to dig into my past to try to find something they could use against me.

 

The next thing we did was look up Tanya's school records, trying to establish a pattern of behavior so that it's easier to prove that Tanya was abusive before she began taking drugs. What I found out was shocking. She had six different restraining orders taken out on her since the age of thirteen. She had to be placed in four different schools because of her stalker-like behavior toward boys, and she was charged with assault twice as a teenager. Add in the hospital visits and videos from Carmen, and we had Tanya nailed.

 

I didn't really gather much on Edward because I don't think it'll be necessary. With Tanya breaking the restraining order and all the other evidence I've gathered, we're going to bury Tanya so deep there isn't anything they could say to make Edward look bad.

 

"No, no." Edward tosses and turns next to me, moaning in pain.

 

I hum as I run my fingers through his hair. He tosses his arm over my stomach and cuddles into my side. Edward's body loosens up and his face smooths out. His lips part and in a low whisper I hear, "Bella."

 

I bury my smile in his hair, unable to believe he's mine.

 

The date he planned for us was like nothing I‘d ever been on. Not that Jake and I really dated. We were so young when we got together, we didn't really do date nights between school and work. Being with Edward, though, is as easy as breathing. We just click. He'll be cooking, and I can give him what he needs before he asks. Even though it's only been a couple of weeks, it doesn't feel that way.

 

Not that it's always sunshine and rainbows. One time we were kissing and the moment my hands moved from his shoulders down his arms to the bottom of his shirt, his body froze and he pulled away quickly. He was shaking and breathing heavily.

 

"Edward." I kept my voice low, worried that I'd crossed a line that would cause him a setback.

 

Letting out a shaking breath, he answered, "I think it's best if I, um, go to bed." He nervously ran his hands through his hair and wouldn't meet my gaze.

 

I learned to just keep my hands over his clothing and mostly on his arms.

 

As I feel myself begin to drift off, I hear little feet against the floor. Peeking one eye open, I see Emma standing next to the bed clutching her wolfy.

 

Clearing the sleep out of my throat, I say, "Emma bear, what's wrong, sweetie?"

 

Tears stain her cheeks. "I had a bad dream."

 

Edward jerks awake at the sound of Emma's voice. "Emma?"

 

"Daddy." Emma climbs into bed and reaches for Edward. He pulls her in and hugs her tight.

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

 

I curl up next to her, creating an Emma sandwich as she shudders.

 

"She won the court stuff and took me far away from you and Bella."

 

My heart shatters at her dream. I kiss the top of her head as Edward squeezes her tight against his chest. "That's never going to happen, Emma. I would die first." I might be telling Emma with words, but I look into Edward's eyes, hoping that he understands how serious I am.

 

Edward closes his eyes, nodding his head. "You want to sleep with Daddy and Bella tonight?"

 

She pulls the covers over us and snuggles in. "Thank you, Daddy."

 

I can't help but chuckle as I adjust myself to accommodate our new bedmate. It isn't long before their soft snores fill my bedroom. I take a deep breath as my brain works out every scenario for tomorrow.

 

***Driving Forces***

 

Before we left this morning, the air was thick around everyone. Edward got sick twice before we got in the car. Emma cried and clung to Edward. Ollie helped Alice calm her enough so we could leave. Alice and Claire volunteered to stay and watch the kids as the rest of the family came to the courthouse with us as support.

 

There isn't any fanfare like you see in movies. Even though our last name is rather infamous, no press is here. As we walk into the courthouse, I see Tanya standing with her parents and a new lawyer. My entire family surrounds Edward as we're forced to walk past them, so he doesn't have to be near her.

 

Her new lawyer tops the cake. James Hunter graduated from the same class as me, but whereas I was at the top of our class, he was the third. I'm honest and hardworking while he only works hard at cheating the system to get his wins.

 

"Cullen." My name rolls off his tongue and I feel like I need a shower.

 

Tanya gazes at me with her soulless eyes as she touches James's arm in a sensual way. "Mr. Hunter, we better get in there."

 

He smirks, making me roll my eyes. He's just as sleazy as ever. "Yes, we should."

 

The disgusting display tells me everything I need to know. It's going to be that much more satisfying when I eat them alive.

 

Edward is still surrounded by my family as his shield as we head inside the courtroom. I take his hand into mine and look deep into his eyes. "I'm about to be aggressive, but it's all aimed at them." I nod my head in the direction of Tanya and her entourage.

 

Edward gives a shaky nod of his head.

 

Kissing his cheek, I say, "Let's bury her alive."

 

With one swift nod, he sits down. The rest of the Cullen clan sits down, making sure they're close to Edward and me. The court clerk calls our case number to stand as the judge begins her readings.

 

"Denali vs Swan, in the matter of establishing new custody between the parties," she reads, her eyes scanning the files.

 

We take our places at our respective tables. James unlatches his briefcase and pulls out some paperwork, wearing a slimy smirk on his face. I get all my folders out, waiting for the judge to say we may be seated and begin.

 

"We're sure there's no way this can be settled with mediation?" Judge Flores asks as she looks up from underneath her glasses.

 

"Mr. Swan didn't even ask if that was an option," James answers in his sickly sweet voice.

 

Keeping my anger under control, I answer coolly, "Your honor, Mr. Hunter's client had her rights terminated after she attacked and nearly killed Mr. Swan-"

 

"She was high as a kite and had no idea what was going on during the trial."

 

As I was about to begin arguing with him the judge put up her hand. "And that is a no for possible mediation to resolve the problem." Her eyes bounce back and forth with a calculating stare. "I am going to hear from you both in due time. Mr. Hunter, why don't you begin."

 

I sit down in my hair, crossing my legs and keeping my eyes on the judge. I'm trying to gauge her expressions to see what her feelings are about this situation. No judge is ever completely impartial.

 

James spins this tale of how Tanya was just lonely from Edward being gone all the time and always taking Emma with him. "Tanya was depressed. If we were to truly break it down and diagnose it, I would say it was postpartum depression that never was treated, and it got worse as the years went on."

 

Edward tenses next to me, but I put my hand on his arm. Leaning in, I whisper, "It's all a lie, Edward. It's a tactic they're trying to use. Don't worry, babe, I'm going to shut it all down when it's my turn to present."

 

Lowering his head, he gives me a small nod. In my gut, I just know he's questioning everything that happened to see if he missed anything.

 

James continues painting this picture of Tanya as the victim. From the judge's face, I don't think she believes a word of it. She glances down at the files in front of her as he speaks.

 

"She did her time in jail, she went to counseling, and did a rehab program. All of this was completed with flying colors, not to mention she took parenting classes to become a better mother. Your Honor, she deserves to have the chance that was taken away from her." James takes a seat, unable to resist giving me his slimy smirk.

 

"Ms. Cullen," Judge Flores calls on me to begin my case.

 

Sighing and cocking my eyebrow at the judge, I say, "It's an interesting story, Your Honor. It's touching, and almost believable." I gather my stack of affidavits, testimonies, hospital documentation, and Carmen and Eleazar's notes.

 

"But that's all it was; a story. Ms."-I swallow the vomit that threatens to emerge-"Denali doesn't have any evidence to back up her story." Making a lot of noise to stack and tidy my folders full of evidence, I then hold them in the air for everyone to see. " _This_  is evidence. These are hospital records, testimonies, and counselors' notes. Edward Swan was just a man who wanted to make sure his daughter had everything she needed, and that she was happy and healthy. He worked two jobs, sometimes three, to support them. Long before Tanya began doing drugs, she was abusive. She was controlling." I pass the large stack of documents into the clerk's hands, who in turn hands them to the judge.

 

"Ms. Denali did complete everything she was supposed to, but under extreme protest. She failed multiple drug tests throughout the program. She didn't pass until the last three months of her time in jail." I turn to her, giving her a smirk. Her face is all different shades of red and purple. "The parenting classes that Mr. Hunter speaks of; yes, Ms. Denali attended them, but she did not pass. In fact, the teacher of said class was worried about her and wrote that she prays that Ms. Denali never has the chance to be a mother."

 

The judge looks through everything, her expression morphing into one of disgust.

 

"Your Honor, not only should Ms. Denali never have custody of Emma Swan, but she should never be allowed within a thousand feet of her." With that, I take my seat.

 

The judge takes her glasses off and rubs her eyes. "I'm going to sift through this paperwork. Court is in recess. Come back in one hour." She bangs the gavel and gathers up everything, leaving through the door to her chambers.

 

I turn and smile at Edward, but his eyes are behind me where everyone can hear  _her_.

 

"What the fuck was that? How can she have all that?" She stands up so quickly the chair hits the railing hard, making a loud sound that causes Edward to jump.

 

I take his hand and look directly into his eyes so he'll focus on me. "It's okay, Edward, she can't hurt you anymore."

 

He brings my hand up to his face, using it as a lifeline. "She can't have her," he whispers.

 

"She's not going to get her."

 

"Got a staring problem?" My sister's voice breaks my bubble with Edward.

 

I turn to see Tanya glaring at Edward and me. Rose moved into her line of sight, her arms crossed over her chest as she confronts Tanya.

 

Tanya rolls her eyes and walks away with her parents and James.

 

Rose turns to us. "I was about to slap that bitch into next week."

 

Edward laughs, shocking me a bit before I join him. "Let's get something to eat before the judge gets back," I tell them.

 

After the short break, we return to the courtroom and Judge Flores takes her seat. We all sit after she does.

 

Her eyes bounce back and forth between us and over to them. When her eyes reach them, pure revulsion takes over her features. "I don't know why your request even made it as far as me." She shakes her head. "I'm not even going to get into how disgusted I am with your client, Mr. Hunter. What I will say is, I am denying Ms. Denali's request for custody. The child will stay in the custody of Mr. Swan. There will also be a restraining order placed against Ms. Denali until the child is eighteen and can decide for herself. Court is adjourned."

 

" _What_?" Tanya screeches.

 

Edward jumps up, taking me with him. "She's mine."

 

"She's yours." I smile and laugh.

 

My family rallies around us, laughing and hugging. All the stress wrapped around Edward is gone.

 

" _No_! This wasn't supposed to happen!" Tanya yells.

 

Edward ignores her as he shakes my dad's hand. I watch her, though. I wait for her eyes to land on me. When they do, I smile and turn away, knowing she's watching as I pull Edward to me and speak intimately into his ear.

 

"I think we have a little girl waiting for us at home."

 

His smile takes my breath away. "Yes, we do."

 

We don't look back; we go home to be with our girl. We have some very good news to share with her. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**EPOV**

I watch again as Bella picks up her pace to pass the bedroom door that's kept firmly shut on the way to Emma's chosen room. She turns her head just slightly as to make sure it doesn't cross her eye line. Biting my bottom lip, I wonder if I should say something to her. I'm making progress, leaps and bounds, since court, but I'm still not good with conflict. I know when I bring up my concerns about Emma being on the same floor as the empty nursery that there will be conflict. Not that I care about it myself, but I know how curious Emma is. I know eventually she'll open the door to see what's inside, and I worry how Bella will react to it.

 

Setting the box I'm caring down in Emma's room, I can't help smiling at the view I have. Bella is helping Emma put away some books on the new shelf. Bella kisses the top of her head and giggles as they share secrets between them.

 

Smiling at my girls, I say, "I think this is the last box, pretty ladies."

 

Bella chuckles. "All right, I guess we should get everything put away, now."

 

I lean against the doorframe, watching them work together.

 

It's just a week into November and about two weeks into the remodel of the house. Bella wanted to make sure the house reflected all of us. I think it was just an excuse to change up the things she didn't like from when she was married to Jake. I also think it's to avoid going further into her healing process. She hasn't seen Kate since our date, and she hasn't attended a group meeting since then, either.

 

Bella smirks as she turns to me. "Aren't you going to help us, Dad?"

 

Unable to help myself, I dramatically drop my arms to my sides. "I suppose I could."

 

My girls giggle at me as I being to help them put Emma's stuff into her closet. I continue to overthink about Bella and how I don't want her to become the angry woman who hired me all those months ago. I want her to be this carefree, amazing, sexy woman who has made us her family.  _My_  family.

 

"You know what we haven't gotten yet?" Bella stands up to look at Emma with a twinkle in her eyes.

 

"What?" Emma moves her body in a three-sixty manner, trying to spot what they could have missed for her new room.

Bella squats down in front of her and loudly whispers, "We didn't get you new bedding for your new, freshly-painted room!"

Emma's mouth pops open and then she grabs Bella's face. "Can we go right now?"

Bella chuckles. "Of course, little lady!" Bella swoops down, picking Emma up and propping her on her hip. Her brown eyes flicker to me. "You  _are_  coming, right?"

I sigh, not really wanting to go to another store. "I was thinking about cleaning stuff up and putting more of my things away," I murmur, biting my lip and hoping that this isn't the last straw.

I've made strides since I gained closure at court, but I still have many insecurities. The biggest one is the worry that Bella will get sick of all of them. Between my nightmares and the fact that she can only touch me on top of my clothes and above the belt; I worry she can't handle it.

Bella gives me a reassuring smile. "Emma Bear, I think we tired Daddy out with all the shopping we've done. I think just me and you will go out and get some things."

Emma giggles. "I think we have to, Mama Bella."

Mama Bella is a new development that Carmen had us all sit down for so that Emma could ask if it was okay. Bella was honored that she wanted to call her that. I was happy that she found someone she wanted to be her mom. On the other hand, I worried about Emma making that type of attachment.

Bella kisses my cheek as they head out the door. I sigh, taking in my surroundings. This is the first time I‘ve had the entire house to myself and I can't help taking a personal tour. This tour leads me to the one door that Bella can't look at. Chanting to myself that it's my house, too, it's my house, too, I gently open the door and see the nursery I assumed was there.

The crib isn't put together; the pieces are laying on the ground. Piles of clothes that have yet to be put away are scattered along the floor. A light layer of dust covers every surface. I feel a warning not to touch a thing because I fear if she knew I was in here, I really would have crossed a line. I stand in the doorway looking around. I can just feel the love Bella had for her unborn daughter. I can also see the love Jake had. All the furniture seems homemade with a unique lacquer and tribal engravings. Knowing I've already taken too long, I gently shut the door, hoping that it isn't noticeable I looked. I begin to feel worried for Bella. I know she's making progress, but as I stand there in the hallway thinking, I worry that she dove straight into my problems and forgot hers.

I go back downstairs, wondering if I should approach her about this. Should I ask her about Kate, ask if she thinks it's time to work on her again? I fall into a nearby chair, running my fingers through my hair. Then I hear the door fling open, followed by giggling. The corners of my lips pull up as I get up to find out what they're up to. Walking into the foyer, I know.

They got more than bedding.

I tsk. "Bella."

Her eyes widen, and her mouth makes a little O. "Edward, I swear it's not what it looks like. We thought while we were out we could get stuff for your office as a surprise."

Rolling my eyes, I reply, "Let's get everything put away."

I take my seat next to Alistair's chair, who isn't present just yet. Even with the leaps I've made in my healing, I always come to the meetings. They remind me that I'm not alone, and I want to be there for the others, as well. I could help someone else take another step in their healing.

Al walks in with a new gentleman who seems really familiar, but I don't place him until he takes a seat. His shaggy black hair is hanging over eyes covered with sunglasses. His bronze skin is spotted with fresh marks that I know all about.

Jacob Black is sitting across from me, looking beaten down.

"Let's get started. I want to introduce Jake."

We all say hello.

"Why don't you start off telling us about yourself." Al puts his hand on Jake's shoulder, comforting him.

Clearing his throat, he begins. "I'm Jake. I'm married with one daughter and another on the way." He shakes his head as he looks at the floor. "I was raised to never hit a woman, that we're just supposed to be a man. Leah has always hit me or threw things at me, but I just shook it off. But as time went on and we got married, things got worse. I had no one. I alienated the only family I really had by cheating on my first wife." His voice breaks toward the end. "I want to leave her. I know the child she's carrying isn't mine. I tried to take my little girl and just go, but she caught me." He pulls his glasses off his face.

A collective hiss goes around the room. I recognize the bruise, and I know what it was she used. I clear my throat. "Is your little one okay?"

Jake's eyes widen slightly when he sees me, but it doesn't deter him from answering me. "She is. I managed to get her to her room before it went down. Leah went crazy, then she told me that my daughter wasn't mine, that she just said that because she wanted to take me away from my first wife. She hated..." He stopped, looking so ashamed at was he was going to say next. "My first wife was her stepsister. Leah hated that Bella had everything she wanted, and she took advantage when I was drunk and feeling lonely. I never thought about it again. But when she showed up saying she was pregnant, I knew I had to be there. I'd just lost my other baby, and I-I-" Tears spill over and streak down his face. He looks up at me, wanting someone to tell him it'll be okay.

"You did what you thought you had to do. It's okay, Jake. But it's not okay to take a beating. It doesn't matter if it's from a spouse," I say, trying not to be too rough on him. "No matter how much you think you deserve it."

He nods his head. "I don't know what to do."

Alistair gives me a look. "Well, you're here, and that's a start. We'll help you, whatever you decide to do next."

That's how most of our night goes. We talk about the small problems each of us are having, and what we plan to do.

I take a deep breath before letting it out. "I've moved in with Bella, and she decided to ‘remodel the damn place' so that it reflects that Emma and I are living there. Her words, not mine." I snort. "But I noticed that she hasn't been doing her own healing and working on herself, and I worry that she's going to break when it comes to the room that's just down the hall from Emma. I worry that one day Emma will want to go look, and..." I pause, taking my bottom lip between my teeth.

Al nods his head. "Maybe you should just sit her down and talk to her. She's a very reasonable person, Edward. What is it that has you worried about talking to her?"

I shrug, but I know exactly what's eating at me.

"Bella doesn't yell. She's so patient and understanding," Jake speaks up. All eyes are on us as they make the connection between us.

I swallow hard. "I know. I know she probably won't get mad at me. I just also know it'll hurt her, and I don't want her to be hurt. I know the significance of the room. I know how painful it is for her. And..."

Al and Jake both nod. I watch Jake as his own pain covers his face. His eyes water and his mouth pulls down. "Talk to her."

I nod, knowing they're right.

I don't want to talk to her during our week alone, so I leave it until after work today when Emma heads over to Rose's house for a sleepover.

A groan escapes my lips as I get up and walk to her office to let her know I have to make copies and hit up Jasper's office to drop off some contracts he needs. Bella's hunched over her computer with a pencil sticking out of her mouth. She looks so gorgeous.

"What has you concentrating so hard?" I chuckle as she looks up at me with wide eyes.

She grins. "I was looking into the community center Alistair works at. They really need more access to lawyers, and I was thinking that I wanted to help. But..." Her eyes meet mine. "If I do this, I would have even less free time."

I hum. "Well, I can take over all the contracts. I'll have the knowledge since I'm going to school in January. I mean, it would be tight, but I think we could manage it."

She shocks me by jumping out her chair and kissing me silly. "You are too amazing."

A snort escapes my lips the same time I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. "I have to go make copies."

Together we watch Emma take off with Rose. Bella intertwines her fingers with mine, pulling me into the living room to lounge on the couch and put on a movie.

I know this is the moment I need to talk to her. My heart picks up and my palms get sweaty at what I'm about to do next.

Bella's brows pull together as she takes me in. "What's wrong, babe?"

My throat feels like I'm swallowing sand. "I worry about you." My voice comes out shaky.

Her eyes widen, and her mouth pops open slightly. "Why?"

Not wanting to lose momentum, I proceed quickly. "I think you've been so focused on me, that you're forgetting your own healing. I've noticed you haven't been to your own group meetings or gone to see Kate. I worry that having your daughter's room on the same floor as Emma's is going to cause you to have a breakdown." Everything I say comes out in a rush. I hope she understands some of it.

She takes a sharp breath. "Oh."

I pull her close to me, playing with her fingers. "You're everything to me, Bella. I love that you care about Emma and me so much, but we care about you, too. I'm worried that you're avoiding feeling those feelings again. I'm enjoying that happy woman that takes my daughter out for shopping sprees. I worry that you'll go back to the grouchy woman I first started working for that did nothing but work."

Her head falls on my shoulder and I can feel tears on my shirt. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'll start going back to Kate. You're right. I get so wound up when we're anywhere near the nursery."

My lips press against the top of her head. "Whatever you need, I'm here for you, just like you are for me."

She nods against me.

Together we are going to get better. 


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

BPOV

Kate is giving me her trademark raised eyebrow. I know she's a little disappointed in my disappearance. She said as much when I called to make the appointment, but she also said she was glad to have me back.

 

"What made you decide to come in?" Kate looks down at her notepad.

 

I take a deep breath, knowing I need to be honest. "At first, it was Edward. He was anxious about me, especially with Emma living in a room just down from my daughter's nursery." I stop and shake my head. "But now, sitting here, I know I need to be here for me."

 

Kate nods her head as she writes something down. "What is the biggest thing on your mind right now?"

 

I bite my bottom lip, a bad habit that I seem to have taken up from Edward, my chest tightening just thinking about my next words. "I've been thinking about Jake lately." I let out a harsh breath. "I've been thinking about our daughter..." Shaking my head, all the words pour out. "I wonder if we were too young, if maybe I pushed Jake into the relationship, into marriage. If I just planned out our whole future and never consulted him. I wonder if he's mourned our daughter as I have. I wonder if he goes to her gravestone..." My chin touches my chest as tears fall down my cheeks thinking about my little girl.

 

I hear rustling, and then a box of tissues comes into view. I take the box and pull one out to wipes the tears and snot away.

 

"In the midst of the death of my daughter, I never cared about what Jake was going through. Then, I was so busy with the future that I never stopped and wondered how he felt about anything." I continue to ramble my thoughts out loud.

 

"Does it matter what he feels, Bella?" Kate asks me gently.

 

I take a deep breath and let it out. "Now that I feel..." Tilting my head, I try to think of the right word for it. "Better, I guess. I sometimes wonder if maybe Jake and I never really belonged together. I wonder if..." I close my eyes so tightly I see lines behind my lids.

 

"It's okay to say it, Bella."

 

I gasp for air as the worst truth comes out of my mouth. "If it wasn't better that we didn't have our daughter." Kate embraces me as more words tumble out. "I feel like I'm dishonoring her by moving on, by allowing Emma to have her future room. I feel stupid for wanting to call Jake and talk to him about our daughter. Wanting him to help me go through her things." Finally, at the end of my rant, I hiccup.

 

"There's nothing wrong with wanting those things, or for thinking about that. You're trying to wrap your head around what happened and why. There's nothing wrong with having a moment where you think maybe it was for the best. The way things ended with you and Jake were horrid. He left to tend to his mistress and another baby. You have every right to be angry at that."

 

I blow my nose, listening to her.

 

"But you also have every right to want to go through this process with him. To forgive him and move on. Forgiveness isn't for the other person, it's for you."

 

I nod. "I want to have closure. I want to clean up her room, and I want him there with me because he was a good man. He wanted our daughter as much as I did."

 

Kate pats my back. "Then I suggest you just call, ask him to lunch, and just talk. And go from there."

 

Blowing out some air, I agree with her. "Yeah, I think that's what I want to do."

 

She pats my back one last time and goes over to her seat, writing a few more things down. "I'll see you next week. And by then, I hope you'll have gone back to group therapy and maybe start thinking about what you want to say to Jake if you haven't already called him at that time."

 

"Okay."

 

When I get home, Edward is cooking, smiling at Emma who's chattering about her school day.

 

"Hey, babe, how did it go?" Edward's expression shows his concern, the same concern he had when he first approached me about going back to therapy.

 

After all this time, I've watched Edward become this amazing, loving man, but he still has many insecurities. One of them being his fear of creating conflict with me.

 

"It went okay. I want to talk to about some things later," I murmur, kissing the top of Emma's head. "That smells so good. I'm starving," I announce, changing the subject. I don't want Emma to see me cry or hear the pain in my voice as I tell Edward what I want to do.

 

Edward smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "It's chicken alfredo."

 

My insides turn to goo just looking at him in his faded jeans and plain tee stirring dinner on the stove. I smirk and wink at him, trying to get that worried look off his face.

 

His cheeks turn red before he can turn back to the stove.

 

I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face in his back, taking in his scent. The smell relaxes my whole body into him. I feel the words just at the tip of my tongue; I want so badly to tell him.

 

His muscles relax underneath me as one of his hands comes up and covers mine. "If you want to sit down, babe, I'll have this done in a minute."

 

I smile and kiss him between the shoulder blades. "That sounds wonderful."

 

Edward walks in the bedroom wearing just his pajama bottoms. He spears his fingers roughly through his hair as he walks to the bed. The tips of his ears are red followed by his cheeks as he scoots closer to me. I lay back, letting him consume me. His lips hungrily take mine, and his tongue invades my mouth. My hands move to his shoulders, feeling his skin underneath my palms. His hands began to wander, and I feel his body shake, signaling his limit, but he still tries to push his hand down.

 

I gently pull my lips away, pressing my forehead to his and gasping for air. "Edward, babe, you can stop. It's okay."

 

When I press my lips to his cheek, I hear his frustrated sigh. "I just want to make you feel good."

 

My heart breaks just a little, hearing his statement. "Babe, you always make me feel good. I love kissing you. What's going on?"

 

I shift so I can sit up and Edward huffs, running his fingers through his hair and leaning against the headboard. "You said you wanted to talk. I thought... maybe you were tired of me. I wanted to show you that I could do more. That I would do more for you..." His entire body trembles.

 

I gasp. "Edward, never, ever. We could just kiss for the rest of our lives and I would be okay with that."

 

He nods and wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me to his chest. "Then what do we have to talk about?"

 

Taking a deep breath, I reply, "I was talking to Kate about..." I stop, unable to find the words I'm looking for. How do I explain what I want? I feel Edward tense underneath me. I start talking quickly so he doesn't overthink any further. "I want to talk to Jake. I want to get some closure. I want to have him come help me pack up our daughter's room."

 

He relaxes, and I feel his lips on the top of my head. "Oh."

 

I lightly chuckle as I press my lips to his chest, hoping it doesn't scare him too much. "Yeah, nothing too scary for you, just for me."

 

I feel his chest vibrate as he hums. "I'm sure it's going to be scary for him, too."

 

I don't want to comment about what Jake might end up feeling. I'm still battling the feelings I'm having with the decision I just made.

 

I go to a group meeting before making the call. Edward sits next to me with his knee bouncing. I feel like he's hiding something from me, but I don't ask, knowing he'll tell me when he's ready.

 

Later at home, I finally press the send button, only to have it ring over and over with no answer. I leave a quick message for Jake to give me a call.

 

As I hang up, Edward's phone rings.

 

He answers quickly. "Shit, okay, okay. I'm on my way. Just stay calm, okay? I'm bringing Bella with me and we'll get everything sorted out."

 

My brow wrinkles. "Edward, what is going on?'

 

He nearly yanks his hair out. "We have to go to the hospital."

 

I jump to my feet and grab my bag. "Why, what's happening?" I start questioning him as we head to the car. Edward is texting Alice, who's keeping Emma at the moment.

 

Edward growls. "It's Jake and Leah. Jake will have to explain more when we get there."

 

Raising my brow, I say, "Someone will be explaining something when we get there."

 

It's utter chaos when we arrive. Leah is screaming that Sarah isn't Jake's and that he's a filthy liar. Jake is crying and bleeding everywhere. The doctor is trying to get him to lay down on the gurney, but he's trying to get someone to get Sarah away from Leah.

 

Edward doesn't hesitate to take Sarah out of Leah's arms and move toward Jake. "You have to calm down and let them take care of you."

 

Jake relents and lays down.

 

There are two police officers, one over by Leah taking her statement, and the other hovering around Jake.

 

Bewildered, I walk over to Jake and Edward. "What the hell, Jake?"

 

Jake's eyes well up. "I swear, I didn't touch her. I was taking Sarah over to Seth's house. I called him and everything to let him know I was dropping her off with him. I had a suitcase packed, and I told Leah I was leaving. I can't do it anymore."

 

I look at Edward, who doesn't seem to be meeting my eyes as he bounces Sarah on his hip, making her giggle.

 

"Jake, has Leah been..." I'm not able to finish my sentence. I looked at Jake, seeing old bruises surrounding his eyes. He focuses on the ground.

 

"Edward, call Seth and then my parents, please."

 

Edward pulls his phone out of his pocket. "Of course."

 

I pat Jake's hand before walking over to where Leah's standing.

 

"Bella." She grabs for me, but I take a step back. I look at my sister. The girl I helped raise, picked out dresses with, got her out of more trouble than I can count, and never told our parents about.

 

"Leah, did you attack him because he was leaving?"

 

The officer next to her looks between us. "Mrs. Black, is this true? Was your husband leaving you?"

 

Her face morphs from innocence to pure hatred. "He doesn't get to leave me, not after all the effort I put into getting him!"

 

She lunges at me, but the officer catches her and places her under arrest.

 

I can only stand there in shock.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

EPOV

Entertaining little Sara isn't hard while we wait for her uncle Seth to come get her. What I have a hard time with is not wanting to be next to Bella, who’s standing between an officer and Jake. From the few select words I’ve caught Bella saying, I’m assuming the officer is giving Jake shit about his statement. It shouldn't even be an issue considering that not long ago Leah admitted she attacked him, not the other way around.

Someone clears their throat, making me jump. “Shi—oot.” Seth is standing there with a smirk on his face. I roll my eyes at him as he takes Sara from me and picks up her bag.

Seth sighs, looking over at his sister and brother-in-law. “Thank you for watching her.”

Clearing my throat, I reply, “It wasn't a problem. She’s an angel.” My gaze is on Bella as she balls her fists at her sides.

“She’s going to blow,” Seth murmurs as he shifts his weight between his feet.

I see what he sees as she inches closer to the officer. “You should probably take Sara home. I’ll go try to calm Bella down.”

Seth chuckles as he slaps my back, but agrees as he leaves. The speed at which he leaves makes me a tad worried about my task. I swallow hard as I make my way over to them. Tears are streaming down Jake's face, and Bella has taken her phone out.

“I’ve had enough of this harassment. I’m calling for your superior.” Bella begins to dial when I touch her shoulder.

The officer grunts. “Fine. I’ll leave, but you better be around for more questions later, Mr. Black.”

My hands slide up and down her arms as she falls back into my chest.

“Did I ever tell you how much I fucking hate people?” Bella takes my hands and holds them to her chest.

I chuckle, kissing the top of her head. “I think I’ve heard you say that once or twice.”

Bella kisses my wrist then lets me go and faces Jake. “How are you?” She moves closer to his bed.

He shrugs. “I’m scared.”

“Do you need me to stay? I will if I have to, but to be honest...” She turns to me. “We need to get Emma. I’m sure she’s worried.”

Jake attempts to straighten himself on his bed. “I’ll be fine. You go ahead and go. Alistair is on his way to figure out what I should do from here.”

The idea of Jake being left alone doesn't sit well with me. “How about you get Emma, and I’ll stay here with Jake until Al arrives.”

Bella’s eyes widen slightly. “Are you sure?”

I wait for the anxiety to creep up on me the way it always does when I try to be brave. It doesn't come; I feel confident. “Yeah. I’m sure Al will be here shortly, and we can get Jake settled.”

She studies my face. “If you’re sure, baby.”

I nod again with my lips turned up. “I am.”

She kisses me hard before pulling back. “If Leah tries to come back, call me.”

Jake and I agree that we will, and she leaves, kissing me one last time. I take the seat by his bed, unsure what to do now. We sit in an uncomfortable silence for a few breaths before he breaks it.

“She seems lighter.” His voice is low, almost as if he hopes I don't hear him.

Taking my lip between my teeth, I'm unsure how much I should say. I understand the situation he’s currently in, but that doesn't mean I’m not upset over the part Jake played in how broken Bella is.

“Yeah,” is all I can manage to say.

I hear him shift his weight on the bed. “I didn't want to hurt her.”

I start shaking my head. “I don't want to talk about this. You can talk to Bella. I’m sure she wants to talk to you about it. I have nothing else to say on the matter. Now, if you want to talk about what you want to do next, that’s great, but Bella is off limits.”

It isn't long after my rant that Alistair shows up and we begin to make a plan starting with where Jake is going to stay. Jake decides to stay with Al until we get everything figured out with Leah in the morning.

When I get home, Bella is in the living room cuddling Emma and watching some kind of kid movie. As I get closer, I see that she and Emma are asleep and my heart fills at the sight of them.

I tiptoe over to the couch, gently kissing Bella's temple. “Baby.”

She hums, cracking her eyes open. “Hey.”

I smile. “How about we get her in bed, and we get into our bed.”

Bella giggles. “Yes, please.”

*Driving Forces*

Hectic and even crazy would be an excellent way to describe how our lives are currently. Between court and our remodel, and then the holidays, and Bella is also busy with her newfound calling to help out with Alistair’s center with domestic cases and other family court matters. It takes a lot to get Bella to continue to go to her sessions with Kate and to her group meetings on top of mine.

Today is the day she and Jake sit down to talk. Bella needs this for closure. Her other goal is to speak to Leah, but that's difficult right now since she's Jake’s lawyer.

Bella is currently in the kitchen baking cookies to take to the shelter. It's part of Emma's volunteer assignment for her class.

“Babe, I’ll finish this, you’re going to be late for your lunch.” I start taking things from her before she can get any funny ideas.

Her shoulders sag. “Okay.”

I pull her into a hug, kissing her temple. “It's going to be fine. I bet it’ll take so much off your shoulders.”

She makes a grunting sound before she pulls away and kisses Emma goodbye, then she comes back to me and kisses me gently.

“I’ll be back in a while.”

Emma and I bake a few dozen chocolate chip cookies. We take some pictures and videos for documentary purposes for her class.

“Daddy, do you love Mama Bella?”

I drop the empty plastic container I’m holding on the floor. “What?”

Emma tilts her head, looking thoughtful. “Ollie asked me when you and Bella were getting married. I said I didn't know. And then he asked about if you and Mama Bella were in love. And I didn't know so I thought I’d ask.”

My lips press in a thin line as I take a seat next to her. I never thought I would have to explain my feelings to my little girl. Looking in her eyes shining with curiosity and innocence, I tell her, “Yeah, I love Mama Bella.”

Wow, I said it out loud, and not to Bella. My chest swells. Yeah, I love her so much.

My little girl smiles at me. “Does she know? When are you going to ask her to marry you so we can be a real family like Ollie’s?”

I pull her over to my lap. “I think she knows, but maybe I should tell her. What's with all this, baby girl? Is it really just because Ollie was asking?”

She nibbles on her bottom lip. “I worry ‘cause you and Mama Bella have been going to court a lot again, and I was thinking if you’re married then maybe she’d leave us alone.”

“Ah.” I sigh, thinking we never talked about what was going on. “Sweetie, we aren't going to court for that. Bella is helping out a friend, and I’m there supporting him as well.”

Weight seems to lift off her tiny shoulders that I’ve failed to notice these last two weeks. “Okay.”

I kiss her cheek and then blow raspberries. “Silly girl, you have nothing to worry about. I promise.”

She squeals and giggles. “Daddy, stop.” She squirms to get free.

After a few more raspberries just to listen to her laughing, I let her go.

 

We box more of the cookies up for tomorrow so we can drop them off at the shelter that the school works with. All I keep thinking about is Bella and how much I really do want to spend the rest of our lives together.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

BPOV

I picked a small diner that would give us the privacy we needed, but not cramped enough that we would be uncomfortable. I sip on a cup of coffee, not really tasting it. I begin to question myself; should I really be doing this? Do I really need this closure? I've already spent more time with Jake than usual since he became my client.

But I keep hearing this voice that tells me I can't really move on and forgive him if I don't talk to him about our daughter and the cause of our split.

I rub my temple. This is all so complicated.

I hear the ding from the door signaling someone has arrived. I look up to see Jake. My lips pull down as I take him in. For a big guy, he looks so small, folded in on himself wearing sunglasses and a baggy sweater with the hood up. I give him a little wave, and he walks over and falls onto the bench seat across from me.

I nervously play with the cup in front of me. I'm unsure where to start.

"How's Sarah?" he murmurs.

I sigh, thinking about the situation we're in. Sarah is currently in temporary custody with Seth and Claire with until we get DNA results in. If she is Jake's, then he'll get custody, but the other guy apparently very much wants her if she turns out to be his.

Sam Uley is a small business owner in La Push who's been sleeping with Leah on and off for the last several years. It's already been confirmed the little boy Leah is carrying is his, and he'll take custody when she gives birth.

Clearing my throat, I answer his question. "She's doing good."

He picks up a napkin and begins to tear it up. "What are the chances Sarah is mine?"

I sigh, adjusting myself in the seat. "I don't know, Jake, you're the one who was sleeping with her for a year. You tell me." I try not to smirk at the little jab, but I really can't help myself, and my anger is easily triggered at the mention of their affair.

His face scrunches up. "A year? No, it was, I think, a one night stand. But honestly, don't know if it was even that because I only woke up with her naked and sprawled all over me."

My gaze takes him in and I see nothing but honesty. "Leah said you guys were having an affair for a year."

He shakes his head. "Bitch."

I let out a humorless chuckle. "You did leave me. You left me for her. You left me while I was still grieving for our daughter. She must not have been that big of a bitch."

His Adam's apple bobs. "I know. The only thought I had was, I can't lose this one, too."

I wipe away the tears that are slowly making their way down my cheeks. "Do you ever think about her? Our daughter?"

He sits up a little straighter. "I wonder what could have been. But, I really haven't had the chance. I've been more focused on..." He trails off, not making eye contact with me.

A sharp breath escapes between my lips. "You easily replaced our daughter for the daughter you had with Leah."

He shakes his head. "It wasn't easy, Bella, but what was I supposed to do? I needed to be her father. I couldn't afford to just sit around mourning for a daughter I never met."

My heart rips in two. I can't believe what he just said to me. "I forgive you, Jake. I hope the best for you, and I will continue to be your lawyer, but I want nothing more to do with you." I stand up, not waiting for his reply. "I'll contact you when the results come in for Sarah."

His mouth opens, then closes and opens again. "I'm sorry, Bella."

Nodding my head but unable to find words, I walk away. My shoulders seem lighter along with my heart. As much as I thought I wanted Jake with me on this journey, after his words, I realize that I don't.

On the drive home I think about my mom and the pain she's going through. Dad is trying to hold her together every time we're in court. I can't image what she felt as she watched her two daughters battle it out. I never thought I would be in this position. I knew Leah had some jealousy issues with me, but what siblings don't. I really can't fathom what's wrong with Leah that she could hate me this much.

Walking into my house, I smell cookies and hear voices coming from the kitchen. I follow the giggles and hushed whispers until I see Edward, Emma, and Mom at the island.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" I ask, setting my things down.

Emma runs full-on at me I pick her up. I really shouldn't, she's too big, but she's too cute.

"Hi, Mama Bella." Emma takes all my attention away from my mom who's shifting in her seat, playing with her purse straps. I kiss her nose. "Did you get all your cookies done?"

Emma nods her head quickly. "Yes. I'm so excited to take them to the shelter."

I set her down. "Why don't you go play, sweetie, I have to talk to my mom."

I feel Edward's eyes on me as I take a seat next to Mom. I feel his hands on my back rubbing back and forth.

"How did your lunch go?" Sue asks, distracting me.

Closing my eyes, annoyed and hurt, I say, "I forgave him, but after I'm finished with his case, I don't want anything else to do with him."

Sue grabs my hands. "Sarah is not Jake's." Tears begin to stream down her face.

Bewildered at her declaration, I squeeze her hands. "How could you know that? The results aren't in yet."

She lets out a chuckle. "I went to see Leah today. She's over in the psych wing. She told me that she never slept with Jake. She drugged him and made it look like they did. She hoped that Jake would leave you, thinking they had a one night stand. When that didn't work, she slept with Sam to get pregnant."

My eyes close and my hands pull away as I shake my head back and forth. "I don't understand." I open my eyes, looking at my mom, who's wiping her tears away.

"It's what she told me, sweetie. I am so sorry."

I wrap my mom up in a hug. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Everything is going to be okay."

We talk more about her visit and how Leah is being treated for some kind of mental disorder. From what my mom understands, she isn't going to be released anytime soon.

Edward calls my dad to come to pick up Mom because I worry about her driving back on her own.

*Driving Forces*

The DNA results come back, and they support Leah's story that Sarah isn't Jake's. But Jake still wants her; he's been raising her, and he's the only father that Sarah has ever known.

Sam Uley has hired a lawyer named Tia to represent help him in the battle to get custody of Sarah. It's all a headache.

Pulling Tia aside, I say, "Could we try mediation and maybe some kind of visitation schedule?"

I'm trying to keep everything civil. I know if we go to court that Sam stands an excellent chance of winning. He shares DNA, he never knew Leah told Jake she was his. And when Sam asked about a DNA test, she told him no. He has all of this documented. He was about to take Leah to court over the baby she's carrying. Not to mention, Tia is an outstanding lawyer that was two years behind me in school.

She presses her lips together before answering me. "I'll talk to my client, but I don't see why he would. He has dead rights to the child."

Squaring my shoulders, I reply, "I know, but this is about a child. A child that has been raised by my client for her entire life. As much as I understand your client's standpoint, he really should consider thinking about what's best for Sarah."

She nods. "I'll call you once I talk to my client." Not waiting for a response, she walks away.

Jake appears next to me, causing me to groan.

"What happens now?"

"I asked if Sam was up to mediation so that maybe we can work out some visitation schedule so you both can be in her life."

"But why? I've been raising her! I don't care what DNA says. She's my daughter." His voice cracks at the end.

Deep down, I think this is karma, but my heart hurts for him. "I'm going to be honest, Jake. Sam has an excellent case. If taken to court, there is a high possibility you will lose."

He nods. "Okay. Do you think he'll agree to mediation?"

I shrug. "No idea. Now, I have to go. I'll call you when I know more."

I need to get away from him. This case needs to be over so I can wash my hands from this insanity.

I arrive home where I find Edward relaxing in the den with a book.

Something inside me shifts. I don't care about anything else that's happening. Right here and right now I just want to sit with Edward and curl into his chest.

He turns and looks at me. His gaze takes me in while his lips curl up. "Hey, love, how was court?"

"Ugh, it was court." I flop into his lap and his arms wrap around me.

He kisses the top of my head. "I love you." His body freezes underneath me.

I smile, feeling at home. "I love you, too, Edward."

My mouth finds his lips, and we kiss. I shift myself so I'm straddling him, keeping my hands to myself and letting him still have control as we make out. We kiss until we can't breathe. Edward pulls away, pressing his forehead to mine.

My heart feels full, and I know what I need more than anything. "Edward, will you help me with my daughter's room."

His brows raise to his hairline, and his eyes widen. "Are you sure?"

I nod. "More than sure."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

EPOV

Looking back on my relationship with her, I know for a fact that I’ve never felt this before. The warm feeling that fills up my chest when I look at Bella? No, I've never felt that.

At Thanksgiving, we went to her mom and dad's, and they made me feel as if I was one of them. They called me son and made sure I was comfortable. Emma was in her element, running around with the other kids calling Charlie Pop-Pop and Jasper Uncle. We were family, and it felt so good to be a part of that. After so many years wanting this, I finally have it.

A few days after the holiday, Bella is ready to go into her daughter's room and start cleaning it out. I repeatedly ask if she’s sure about this. She never told me what was said between her and Jake, but the fact that he isn't here and she doesn't want his help means that he said something that changed her mind about wanting to include him.

We gather all the items we need like trash bags, cleaning wipes, and some other odds and ends. I take her hand as we stand at the door. I could open it for her, but I feel that would be taking something away from her. I kiss her temple, telling her how much I love her and how amazing she is. She takes a shaky breath and turns the knob, opening the door with a creak.

There’s more dust now than when I opened it weeks ago. Bella walks in first, never letting go of my hand as she stands in the middle of the room. I wait, letting her lead. Bella lets go of me and walks over to the partial crib, running her fingers across the wood and lightly tracing the tribal symbols engraved into it.

“Jake wanted her to know her heritage.” She turns to me, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. “Let’s donate the crib to the shelter.”

I nod and begin taking it apart. Soon, I feel her presence behind me. “It wasn't long after we lost her that he started to tear it apart. He was interrupted when I started yelling at him for touching it. I kicked him out, banning him from the room.”

I look up and see her blurry eyes; she’s seeing something from the past. Her arms wrap around her torso.

“You want me to wait, love?” I stand up to embrace her, but she shakes her head.

“No, it's time, Edward.”

I don't question her again. While I take the crib apart, she talks about the different outfits and how she found them as she puts them gently into bags. When I hear her pause, I turn to her. She’s holding this cute little frog outfit. I sit next to her on the floor, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

“That’s adorable.”

She lets out a shaky breath. “Yes. This was going to be the outfit that she came home in.”

“You should keep it. Maybe we can make a shadow box with this and a few other items,” I suggest without really thinking.

Her smile is small. “I think I would like that.”

We manage to get the crib in the garage and a few bags of other items from her room. Bella keeps the outfit, a bib, and a small blanket that Sue made for her. The most precious find is a few pictures; one of her pregnant and glowing, which makes me want to see her pregnant with my child more than I care to admit. And there’s another one of Bella holding her stillborn daughter.

I join Bella as she cries over it.

Just a week before Christmas, the remodel is completed to our satisfaction and we place Clara's shadow box in the living room. Bella had me make one for Emma, and we place them next to each other.

Bella told me the name of her daughter was Clara Nicole Black. Bella’s made so much progress with her healing since we cleaned the room, and she’s begun referring to her daughter by her name.

~~

Bella walks into the room, collapsing next to me.

I pull her into me, kissing her lips. “Good or bad?”

She chuckles. “It could have been worse, but Sam and Jake now have a schedule they agree on, and they’ll reevaluate when she starts school.”

I know that Bella is ready to be done with Jake’s case.

Leah was already put away, and her rights to her unborn son are going to be terminated the moment he’s born. He’ll go to Sam the moment the cord is cut. She’s looking at life without parole because she stabbed a guard while she was in jail awaiting her trial, and he died.

All that was left was the visitation schedule between Sam and Jake.

“It's all done, then?” I kiss her again, realizing we’re alone. Emma is with Charlie and Carlisle.

She moans into my mouth. “Yes, it is.”

My heart races, but in a good way. I lean over her, forcing her to lay on her back as I hover over her, grinding lightly against her body. Bella’s hands move to my back, pulling me closer as we make out like teenagers. My hand slips under her shirt and trails along her skin. Her moans grow louder as my hand goes higher up her shirt.

“I love you so much,” I pant, trying to catch my breath, but I don't want to stop. My body freezes as my mind plays out what just happened. I don’t want to stop.

Bella pecks along my jawline. “Are you okay, baby?”

I look down at her lust-filled eyes. “I’ve never been better.”

We kiss and grind for a while longer before we stop to make dinner and discuss what gifts we need to get yet.

~~

Bella is out with the women while I am out with the guys, including Charlie and Carlisle. I guess it’s tradition for the men to shop together while the women do their thing. We break apart when we hit the jewelry lane in the mall. I can't help looking at the selection of engagement rings, especially one in particular. It’s a silver band with princess cut diamond hearts on the side of the main diamond, and a few little diamonds on the band. It’s simple and screaming to be put on Bella's hand.

“That would be a perfect ring for my daughter.” Charlie's gruff voice makes me jump a bit.

My heart picks up and my palms get sweaty, and all I can think about is how I’ve probably offended him because I didn't talk to him first.

He pats my back. “Bella would have our hide if you ever thought to ask me first.” He chuckles, reading my mind, or maybe he sees it written all over my face.

My hand goes to the back of my neck, rubbing it nervously. “Yeah, she is independent like that.”

He hums. “Bella couldn’t do better than you.”

I turn to him. “I think that’s the other way around, Charlie; I couldn't do better than Bella.”

He smiles. “Thank you for bringing her back to life. I thought I lost her after everything that happened. And I will be proud to call you my son.”

I swallow back the emotions that fill my chest. “Thank you, sir.”

Charlie stays while I buy the ring and then we join the others for lunch. Much to my appreciation, Charlie never mentions the small velvet box that’s sitting in my coat pocket.

Shit, I’m going to propose to Bella, and I don’t want to wait long to ask her.

Christmas morning is something out of a Hallmark movie with presents everywhere, and Emma has no idea what to do with herself as she digs into them. Bella takes pictures as we open our gifts. I kept the most important one with me, waiting for everyone to arrive for dinner.

It isn’t long before everyone is here. We eat dinner and then pass out the gifts for the adults.

I take Bella’s hand and get onto one knee, opening the little box that’s been burning a hole in my pocket. Her eyes pop wide, and the whole room grows quiet. I don't think anyone is even breathing.

My hands shake and I can feel sweat running down my forehead. “Isabella Cullen, when I walked into your office I was a broken and scared man, but you never made me feel that way. You showed me that I’m not a victim, but a survivor.  You’re the most patient and caring woman that I’ve ever encountered. You make me want to take on the world knowing that I have you next to me. I love you. Marry me?”

Her hands cover her mouth as tears stain her cheeks. “Yes.”

“Yes?” I smile.

She squeals, “Yes!”

I jump up, bringing her into my arms and kissing her deeply. I hear our family cheering us on. Pulling my lips away, I retake her hand and slip on the ring, and then place a kiss on her finger.

“I love you.” Bella kisses me again.

I don't get to respond as the women pull her away, needing to hug and squeal as they look at the ring. Her brothers all pat my back, congratulating me and welcoming me to the family officially.

But my gaze never leaves her. My Bella.

When everyone goes home around midnight, Emma manages to get her Aunty Rose to take her home, leaving me and Bella alone.

The air is charged around us as we go to bed. I stand in front of her, kissing her gently, and then lift her shirt off of her. Her nipples harden as the cold air hits them. I place my hands on her hips, watching as her eyes darken with lust. I walk her to the bed and she lays back. I pull off her leggings, leaving her in nothing but her underwear. I can't help but admire her; she’s so beautiful laying there wanting me. It’s her gentle nature letting me lead that makes me pounce on top of her, grinding my hardness against her and kissing her with as much passion as I can muster.

“Oh, Edward,” she moans into my mouth. “Are you okay with this?” She gently reaches for my shirt.

I pull away just far enough that she can see my eyes. “I trust you.”

She pulls my shirt off, her hand trailing down my chest to my stomach. Panic rises as she reaches my scars and continues to go lower.

“Look at me, Edward.” Her voice is soft but firm.

My gaze meets hers.

“We can stop here, baby. I love you no matter what.”

I growl in frustration because I don’t want to stop. I want this. I want to have sex with my fiancée. Goddammit, I’m going to have sex with her.

I get up, taking my pants and boxers off and walking back over to her. She quickly takes her underwear off. My lips go back to hers and we kiss as we tease each other more and more. The panic is gone as I finally thrust into her. My head falls to her shoulder as I move slowly. Her hands trail up and down my back.

“That feels so good, Edward,” she moans.

I pick up my speed just a bit, feeling ready to explode any second. At this moment I can feel the insecurity rising up in me as my impending orgasm builds. I know that Bella hasn't orgasmed. There’s no way, it's only been a minute or two.

Bella pulls me down for a kiss. “It’s okay, Edward, this is perfect, so perfect.”

I grunt, kissing her hard as my body shakes and I reach my peak. “Oh god.” I collapse on top of her.

She peppers me with kisses as her hands rub my back. “I love you so much, baby.”

“I love you, too,” I murmur, shy and embarrassed that I didn't last long.

She whispers in my ear, “It’ll be better next time, and better the time after that. We have the rest of our lives to perfect this.”

I smirk against her shoulder. “Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

 

It isn't even an hour later that I need her again. Between her body arching off the bed and the loud screams coming out of her, I’m confident that I did much better.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**BPOV**

The last time I got married, the sheer size of it was a headache. I'll do it all again if it's what Edward wants, but he swears he wants a backyard ceremony and reception with just family and a few friends. We each picked one person to stand up with us; Alistair will stand with Edward, and I chose Rose to stand with me. Emma will be our flower girl, and Ollie is going to be the ring barrier. We picked a day in October so I could use fall colors. Planning this wedding with Edward has been humble and perfect, and I feel that it's a perfect representation of us.

Edward is currently working on a paper for class while I'm reading through a case file. I feel his gaze on me more than his computer. He's become insatiable in the bedroom. Almost every inch of our home has been christened. Edward has become more confident, and I love every minute of it.

"Edward, we have an early day tomorrow," I warn from behind my files.

He chuckles, and I hear him set his laptop aside and feel his hands on my legs. They run up and down, going higher and higher with each pass.

"Edward," I moan, trying to give him a stern glare.

His lopsided grin is too cute. "I actually want to talk to you about something." Edward gently takes the file out of my hand, and I can't help but smirk as he maneuvers himself over me, gaining all my attention.

"What would that be?" I murmur as he leans in and pecks my lips.

"I was wondering your thoughts on name changes." He slips one hand between my legs.

My eyes flutter closed as his hand comes closer to where I need it. "Mm, what about it?"

He starts kissing my neck, trailing down to my collar bone; my arousal pools between my legs.

"I want me and Emma to take the last name Cullen."

My eyes spring open, despite his hands keeping up their motion on my legs. He stops kissing me, and I sit up a bit more to look at my fiancé. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, his gaze cast to his lap.

I take his hand, pulling him closer to me. "Can you tell me why?" A nagging thought in the back of my mind tells me I know why, but I want to hear it from him. I adjust myself, and he does the same, sitting next to me and making patterns on my skin.  

"I don't remember my family, so the last name Swan has no meaning to me. I feel like it's a curse; Edward Swan, domestic violence victim. Edward Swan, a foster kid that no one wanted to keep." He growls, letting his head fall on the headboard roughly. "I don't want to be Edward Swan anymore. I want to be Edward Cullen, Bella Cullen's husband and a future lawyer." He finally meets my gaze. "The Cullen's are a family, the first family to ever want me."

Many mixed feelings run through me as I stare at my husband-to-be. My heart breaks just a bit, thinking he never knew love until my family and me. I'm proud that he's asking for what he wants. I know how hard it still is for him. I know this is something I can't deny him. "We're going to break convention. I would love for you to be Mr. Edward Cullen and our daughter to be Emma Cullen."

His eyes darken with lust as his lips smash against mine.

I don't want to compare my experiences, but the differences are astounding. With Jake, everything was clinical; it wasn't that I never orgasmed, it just wasn't as satisfying as when Edward and I are together. Everything was black and white then, and now it's all vibrant colors. That's what every aspect of my life is like now that Edward and Emma are in it.

***Driving Forces***

The daddy-daughter dance is happening in two weeks, and we're still trying to find the perfect dress for Emma. After this experience with my daughter, I can only imagine what it's going to be like when we start looking for her flower girl dress. Edward isn't any different; he went out of his way with Emmett to find the perfect outfit to wear for their first dance.

Rose, me, and Emma are walking around the mall. I'm half tempted to take her to a boutique and have her tell a designer what she wants at this point. It would be worth the price. I'm not a people-person by nature, and I can't stand the hovering salespeople. The last one had something rude to say to my daughter because she wants to look like a princess for her first dance with her daddy.

Rose had to pull me away from that one.

The next shop we walk into is obscure and almost seems out of place with all the modernized places. It has the feel of a mom and pop boutique that would be found downtown, not here in the mall. We walk in, and I watch Emma and her reactions. Her eyes light up as she lets my hand go to head to a rack of dresses that look like they would fit her. Within a few minutes, she picks a baby blue dress with a gorgeous lace pattern. I can't believe how quickly she found it. None of the other shops had something so beautiful that would fit her.

We head to the checkout, and an older woman smiles at us and completes the transaction, interacting with Emma so well that I know where we're coming in the next couple of months for our wedding party dresses.

Everything has been amazing lately. Jake moved to Forks where Sam lives so he can be closer for visitations with Sarah. We haven't had contact since he moved, but Mom has stayed in touch with both Jake and Sam so she can have a relationship with her grandchildren.

Edward has been exceeding in his classes and at work. We've hired two more people for the office to help balance the workload with me splitting my time between there and the shelter with Alistair. They work more for Edward than me, considering he's at the office more often.

All this to say that I should have known things were going too well for us. As we walk out of the little shop, I almost run into Tanya. She's put on weight, by the looks of it, and she's wearing way too much makeup. Her face is morphed into a sneer as she looks us over. Rose immediately takes Emma by the hand and walks away with her.  

Clearing my throat grabs Tanya's attention which was focused on Emma as she and Rose disappear from our view. " _You_  are under a restraining order. You should have turned around and walked in the other direction as soon as you saw us."

Her eyes flicker to me; they're dark, her posture rigid as her hands tighten into fists at her sides. "That's my daughter," Tanya grits between her teeth as she leans toward me.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "Not anymore. The judge put an end to that. She's mine and Edward's, and it will be legal come October." I want to rub in how happy Edward and Emma are with me. I want her to know they've flourished without her. Not that someone like Tanya can ever grasp the concept of what I'm trying to do, but it makes me feel good.

What I should have guessed was that me telling her that Emma was about to be legally mine would set her off. Her fist connects with my cheek, making me sway slightly before I counter with my own punch without a second thought to what I'm doing. As a lawyer, I know this is self-defense. I know I won't be in trouble because she hit me first and she broke the restraining order. But I worry how my Edward and Emma will act when they have to deal with all this.

Tanya tries to hit me again, but I duck and push her to the ground. Security shows up a few moments later, pulling her in the opposite direction as she screams bloody murder. I follow one of the guards to his office where he takes my statement.

"Do you want me to contact the authorities to press charges against her?"

I really want to because Tanya would go back to jail, but on the flipside, I don't want to deal with dragging Edward and Emma through that crap again. I shake my head. "No, sir, I just want to get my daughter and take her home."

He lets me go, making sure I leave my information just in case they need to contact me.

On our way home, Emma doesn't say anything about Tanya. Rose, on the other hand,  snickers. "How good did it feel?"

I glance at Emma; her eyes are closed, so I smile at Rose. "It felt fucking amazing."

Rose barks out a laugh. "Man, I wish I could have gotten a punch in."

I roll my eyes. "I just hope she doesn't try anything since I hit her."

Rose scoffs."That bitch isn't going to do a damn thing because she knows she'll go back to prison."

I hope that she's right.

When we arrive home, Emma immediately shows Edward her dress and he gives all the right compliments. And then she tells him who we saw today. "Daddy, Mommy hit you-know-who. But Aunt Rose says it was okay because it was in self-defense. But just in case, are you a lawyer, yet?"

Edward chuckles. "Emma bear, go put your dress away and let me talk to your mom."

She shrugs her little shoulders and does what she's told.

"Are you in trouble?" he asks, pulling me to his chest.

I shake my head and tell him the whole story. "Honestly, I don't think so. I don't think she'll have the guts, knowing that she'd go to jail."

He nods. "Okay. Now, did it feel good?"

I laugh at the fact that he asked the same question that Rose did. I can't believe how perfect we are for each other.

It's a week later that I find out from a friend that Tanya is back in prison for going crazy at her boyfriend's family get-together. It feels like that door is closed, and I've thrown away the key just like I did with Leah when she called and asked to see me so she could apologize. I told her I didn't know if I would ever be ready and hung up. It wasn't just her, but she planned to disrupt my life even if I'd had Clara. The fact that she came to see me right after I had my miscarriage hurt me further. I don't think I can look at her again. Sue asked my permission to see Leah. I just laughed and told her she didn't need my permission to see her daughter. Dad didn't want anything to do with her after everything she'd done. He told me he can't look at her knowing the pain she caused me.

I shake my head and focus on the joy of right now as Edward and Emma are about to head to their daddy-daughter night.

 

Everything is as it should be, and I can't wait for the rest of my life and our new driving forces.


	21. Chapter 21

**Epi**

**10 Years Later**

**EPOV**

Life as Edward Cullen for the last ten years has been everything that I ever dreamed of having.

I have a successful career as a lawyer at Cullen Enterprises. I have Bella, my amazing wife, and mother to our kids.

Emma Cullen is strong-willed and has her aunt Rose's sassy attitude that gets her into trouble more often than not. And she argues to win just like a daughter of two lawyers.

It wasn't long after we married that we decided to open our homes to foster kids. They ranged from months old to almost aging out of the system, and we loved each and every one with passion. I wanted them to feel loved and secure at least once because I knew how they felt when they came to us.

Even when Bella became pregnant with Jeremy, we continued fostering. We eventually adopted Jordan and Gianna. Jordan was twelve when he first came to live with us; he's now seventeen. Giana was fifteen, and she is now eighteen, graduating this year.

They both have their issues, but they're our children just as much as Emma and Jeremy are. And they know it.

Alistair still holds a weekly group that I attend at least once a month. I would attend more frequently to help him with survivors, but with my job and Bella's private practice plus all the kids, it leaves me with very little spare time.

Bella and I still see our counselors a couple times a year; moreso when she was pregnant because she was scared to death I would leave her if she didn't carry to term. It was a rough few months, but they were worth it.

Sarah walks into my office chewing on her nails. "Uncle Edward."

The most surprising development was Jake and Sam. About six years ago they moved in together. They have been incredibly happy since then. Together they take care of Sarah and her brother Quil. They even adopted a set of three-year-old twins last year.

We only really see them when Mom takes Quil and Sarah for the weekend and a couple of weeks during the summer. They really do seem happy.

Sarah tends to seek me out when she's anxious. It's mostly when she's in the city visiting us. I don't think Sarah likes change all that much. I wonder how much damage Leah did when she was young that has impacted her.

"How can I help you, Sarah?"

"Can I just hang out here until uncle Sethy is done in the office? It's quieter here."

I smile and nod my head and she takes her usual spot, pulling her tablet out.

Bella and her siblings share CEO duties of Cullen Enterprises since Dad retired three years ago, wanting to spend more time with his grandkids and traveling with Mom.

They hold a monthly meeting to keep everything squared away; it was the easiest way to keep things running smoothly with Bella not working in the offices of Cullen Enterprises. She now has a private practice where she only practices family law, mostly pro bono cases. She's the happiest she's been since the birth of Jeremy.

When we agreed that Emma and I would take the last name Cullen, I really thought there would be more raised eyebrows and some snarky comments. But there was nothing but acceptance; Charlie beamed and handed out bottles of scotch.

My phone rings, breaking me out of the thoughts in my head. I quickly answer it.

"Edward, Martha called. She says she needs an emergency placement of a five- and ten-year-old. Their situation is awful. Can you get out of work early and meet me at home in an hour?" Bella rushes out as the rustling on her side tells me that she is already heading home.

"Yes. I'll have Stephan rescheduled everything and I'll see you at home."

I hang up and take Sarah to Seth and quickly make it home. Emma, Jeremy, Gianna, and Jordan are all in the living room waiting for me and Bella to give them the speech. Every time we take in new kids we have a family meeting, making sure we take everyone's feelings into account and laying ground rules if they're needed.

"How old are they?" Gianna asks.

Bella answers before I can. "They're five and ten. They‘ve been removed from an extreme situation. We really need to be understanding and show them the Cullen love, okay?"

It isn't long before Martha shows up with the kids. The five-year-old is a girl named Brandy, and her ten-year-old brother is named Tyler. Gianna, Jordan, and Emma quickly engross the kids in some activities as Martha fills us in on what they just came from.

I watch all the kids, and I hold my wife as we readjust our lives to accommodate our addition.

We make all the calls to counselors and to our families and the school, adding Brandy and Tyler to everything. No, we don't know how long we'll have them, but while we do we give them everything they need.

Everything that has happened to me has lead me here, and I really wouldn't change it for a thing.


End file.
